Detective Robert Dershowitz
Frankie Santoro Sr.
Tasha Somova now Tasha Turischeva
Control ID: WC-1034-A
Case(s) Pending: None
WITSEC ID: Francis Santoro now Francis Amato
Control ID: WC-3032-A
Case(s) Pending: United States v. Dominic Mastro
Trivia: Mary's nickname for Brandi is Squish.
Trivia: Marshall knows sign language and speaks Russian.
Mary Shannon: What about my Probe? Exactly what image was that suppose to transfer, 'cause all I'm getting is paper dress, metal stirrups and legs a-kimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coupe?
(Mary impersonates a Ford marketing exec) Say Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure 'cause we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum.
Raphael: How can someone that burns so hot, be so cold?
Mary: I don't know. It's a great question. Give me a call if you figure it out.
Marshall: Honey, I'm home. Mother Mary and Joseph what's going on here? Where are your panties? You bad bad girl.
(after having sex)
Raphael: Your explanations have a certain je ne sais quoi.
Mary: Is that what I just did? I mean, I know it was French, I just didn't know they had a name for it.
Mary: I just wanna wash the stench of this day off and go to bed.
Marshall: I know. But, there are about 60 people in there hiding behind furniture just waiting for you to open the door so they can jump up and yell, "Surprise."
Marshall: C'mon, it's your birthday! This isn't about you. Get ready to act surprised!
Richie: (referring to her breasts) Are those real?
Mary: Go Ahead. Take a good long look. Cause it's the last pair you're ever going to see.
Richie: And why it that, Pussycat?
Mary: Cause, Richy baby. Me and my friend Pia would double team Dick Cheney if that's what it takes to put you away.
Mary: Ma, I know you think Brandi's your precious baby, she's not. She's a virus infecting everyone around her.
Jinx: Mary, please, would you do something before the neighbors think we're poor white trash. Oh, obviously not you, Raphael.
Brandi: It's an Indian talisman... Or totem? Maybe, I forget which, but um, I got it from this Indian stand after I took off with Chico's car.
Brandi: Right. It's from the Los Lobos tribe.
Mary: Sweetie, Los Lobos is a band.
Brandi: A band of Indians?
Mary: No, just a band.
Mary: How long had he and Sienna been going out.
Nicole: They weren't going out. Sienna was just being nice to him. He was a virgin. So she's gonna... You know.
Mary: That is nice.
Mary: (voiceover) My name is Mary. Today's my birthday. And if I ever run into the son of a bitch that promised me a life of excitement and unlimited opportunity as a U.S. Marshall, I'll shoot off both his kneecaps!
Mary: (voiceover) I really wanted to turn around and pop off one of those Columbo questions. You know, the innocuous afterthought that lets the killer know that I know he did it. (in Columbo's voice) "Excuse me, do you always wear white shoes after Labor Day?". Unfortunately, I had no idea if Talltrees had anything to do with the murders. And more importantly, he wasn't wearing shoes.
Mary: Save us both a lot of trouble and just write the damn names, before Great White Father back in Washington goes all Little Big Horn on your ass!
Bartender: You're kidding me right?
Mary: Was that over the top?
Bartender: Look, first of all, it was you guys that got your asses kicked at Little Big Horn.
Bartender: And second of all, today's my first day of work here. And I have really never seen these people before.
Mary: Sorry, thought you were being difficult.
Stan: I just got her a bottle of really expensive perfume.
Marshall: Mary doesn't wear perfume.
Stan: Yes, she does.
Marshall: Na uh.
Stan: You sure, I mean, she always smells so good.
Marshall: That's just her.
Mary: My sister has a penchant for boosting cars.
Raphael: A penchant?
Mary: More like a compulsion.
Det. Dershowitz: (to Mary) You're the branch of law enforcement that puts criminals back on the street, right?
Mary: (answers phone) Hi, Stan!
Stan: Hi, Mary! It's Stan.
Mary: I know it's you, Stan, So I said "Hi, Stan."
Tasha: You speak Russian?
Marshall: A little. I learned it in the 80's when you guys were still Commies.
Marshall: Do I get to play bad cop?
Mary: Like you could!
Raphael: Just gimme the damn keys.
Brandi: You want em? (Throws keys in the pool) Go get them. (Raphael picks her up and carries her to the pool) No, don't touch me. Get your hands off me. Put me down.
Raphael: (throws her in the pool) You get out when I get the keys.
Brandi: Up yours!
Mary: You were supposed to drive her to my house, not intentionally scare the crap outta her.
Raphael: I had to stop at the youth center. The 'scaring the crap outta her' part was just a bonus!
Mary: In the history of the Witness Protection Program no one who has followed the rules has ever been harmed.
Mary: (voice-over) We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it. Others because they don't like being seen. And then there are those special cases, the ones who hide because... because... because they just want someone to care enough to look for them.
Mary: Before you hear it from someone else, I smacked an Indian's johnson with a bar of soap today. Just thought you should know.
Marshall: Haven't we done enough to those people?
Mary: I'm not proud of myself.
International Show Titles:
Czech Republic: Ochrana svědků (Witness Protection)
Original International Air Dates:
- Denmark: July 8, 2008 on Kanal 5
- Sweden: November 28, 2008 on TV3
- Australia: December 9, 2008 on Ten
- Finland: January 11, 2009 on MTV3
- Czech Republic: January 4, 2010 on Prima
-"Happy Together" by The Turtles
-"Mary, Mary" by The Paul Butterfield Blues Band
-"Something So Right" by Paul Simon
Series creator, David Maples, has a cameo in the episode as an airport traffic cop.
This episode runs for 76 minutes.
The show was filmed in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Producers hired some locals to be cast in the episode.
Det. Dershowitz: You operate under the cloak of darkness. Only Boy Wonder knows your true identity.
Dershowitz is referring to Batman's sidekick Robin, a fictional crime fighting character from DC Comics.
Mary: Frankie Nuts got some 'splaining to do.
Mary is referencing the line Ricky Ricardo often said on the television show I Love Lucy: Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do!
Marshall: Yes, Fredo.
Marshall says this using the voice of Don Vito Corleone from The Godfather (1972).
Frankie: Congratulations, you're the Amazing-freakin' Kreskin.
This is a reference to George Kresge, Jr., a mentalist/thought-reader known as The Amazing Kreskin. He had his own TV show which aired in Canada and the United States in the 70's.
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