Inside Schwartz

Season 1 Episode 9

Kissing Cousin

Aired Thursday 8:30 PM Jan 03, 2002 on NBC

Episode Recap

After David beats Schwartz at mini-hockey, he asks for a favor -- talk his little cousin, Jackie, out of wanting to become a sportscaster, because she was supposed to go to medical school. Since her doctor parents are upset about this, David wants him to tell her all about his high failure rate. Schwartz eventually agrees to give her an hour, but only grudgingly -- at least until he meets her, and sees she's hot. But no matter how hard he tries to steer their conversation towards the medical profession, all she wants to talk about is sports. She convinces him to do a play-by-play with her to a tape of the '77 World Series, but despite her knowledge of the game, the extent of her sportscasting involves screaming like a teen cheerleader. Yet, regardless of her complete lack of talent, all he can say is that she's got potential. Right before he asks her to come back, so they can do it again. Schwartz asks Julie whether or not he should tell David's cousin the truth. Since this is what Jackie wants to do, Julie recommends he continue lying. David is annoyed that he didn't talk her out of it, and demands that he not use the "protege angle" at their next get-together. While Jackie housesits for her cousin, Schwartz piles on the lies for round two, and she repays his kindness by kissing him -- which David and Emily witness upon coming home. David furiously pulls Schwartz aside, and forbids him from seeing Jackie. But Schwartz plans to keep on seeing her. To be supportive. Schwartz is psyched when William tells him that he got him a meeting at MTV to interview for a new on-air sports reporter. He's about to brag about his good news to Jackie when she stuns him by announcing that MTV just hired her for that very same position. After she thanks him for supporting her, he realizes he created a monster. So he calls William to blast him, and Jackie overhears him saying she has no talent. Devastated, she tells him off right in front of David. Schwartz apologizes to David for hurting his cousin, and the two soon make amends.