In theory, a superhero such as Iron Man would be grounds of making an enjoyable and entertaining show. Using a similar animation form to that of Spiderman: The Animated Series and X-Men, one is led to believe just that. However, after only 5 minutes of watching this pilot episode, it is nearly impossible not to be turned off from watching the series again.
The pilot episode begins with a less-than-quality intro in which it is almost unclear that the introduction sequence is just that. At first sight, it appears that it is actually part of the episode after watching Mandarin battling Iron Man. However, soon, with difficulty, it becomes obvious that it is the opening "theme song" sequence, which is quite cacophonous, to say the least.
Once the opening sequence comes to a halt, along with the bleeding of one's ears after having heard the song, the show actually begins. It starts off in a very unclear manner in which what appears to be a United States Navy Commander and his Assistant(?) are viewing a radar/sonar screen of the Atlantic Ocean. The Commander speaks in a harsh tone, in which it almost seems like he himself, may be the "bad guy", and he frantically speaks of an unidentified sub that, as he says, "It has to be Russian!" It is obvious that because it is a Russian sub, it has to be concerning and a dangerous mission--Iron Man is needed!
The plot transitions poorly into what appears to be the Russian submarine. Two frustrated russian mariners are trying to manuever the sub away from the United States Navy (?), since they just happened to know that they were being scanned, but they are interrupted with a strange noise. They walk in the room to find a woman dressed in an outfit dating back to around 1977 laughing horrendously occupying herself with a vat of green liquid. Before the men are able to react and apprehend/shoot the woman, they are interrupted by a rather slow-acting hypnotic spell, in which instead of falling asleep, they stand still petrified with their eyes open in a somnambulant state. It is very unclear as to what she is doing with the green tub of unidentified liquid, but clearly we "know" it has to be bad. Whatever the case, it took her quite some time to simply put down a tub of green liquid on a table and then escape the sub, nearly rendering the prior scene useless.
After the confusing scene involving the Russian sub, it cuts to Tony Stark, Iron Man in a hot tub with an attractive female. It is later learned that she is his physical therapist and he is undergoing physical therapy--in a hot tub--with no crutches. The two are interrupted by Mandarin (Tony Stark's arch nemesis.. or so we think?) and his team of "hencmen", whom break into the place and cause a ruckus only to leave with one microchip. Tony Stark's physical therapist is sucked through the glass window and is knocked unconcious. Tony frantically runs to her side and determines that she is alive, but in bad condition. It is very questionable as to why Tony Stark needs physical therapy for his legs/arms, yet he is as agile as a 20 year old track star, and to top it off, he has incredible strength. He determines it was an attack by Mandarin.
Yet again, another transition, this time to Mandarin who talks in the less than predictable raspy-low voice--This proves he is an evil villain. We still have no idea as to why the microchip was taken, but we do now know that the tub of green liquid was a seed to create some sort of army of zombies--from the Russian sailors on the board, which will take exactly 1 year before they are complete. Such a devious plan!
One year later--Iron Man is called by the same General as the year before to investigate the Russian sub which they have just found. War Machine, Iron Man's compadre, tells him to be careful because all the ships it sailed by were sunk under water by green-liquid. As a result, War Machine and Spidergirl urge Iron Man to wear his underwater armor, but he refuses saying all he needs is his robot pal Irving. The scene becomes all the more distorted when right before Iron Man enters the water, he pleads to have his underwater armor on before entering. So, Irving, whom for some reason carries his underwater armor around even though Spidergirl was carrying it, hands it to him and presto, he's ready to go underwater exploring!
Upon entering the water to discover inquires about the sub, which is labeled as extremley dangerous, he is attacked by Mandarin's henchmen. Iron Man is subdued easily when the henchmen, who have already overpowered him, call to Mandarin. Mandari casts a spell which brings an acient dragon from space to help stop Iron Man. Iron Man is easily, yet again, knocked down by just one breath of fire (underwater) of the dragon and collapses under a pile of rocks where is is seen that his hand is twitching. Spidergirl, War Machine and the others sense he is in trouble and will die shortly because of the dragon's breath of fire which doul incinerate his mind. They come near the spot to where Iron Man is, but they do not know where exactly he is. They finally find him, and yet another scene transitions to him lying in bed in an injured state.
As Iron Man lyes down in an injured state, he realizes that one year ago Mandarin broke in and then.. it gets really unclear as to what Tony Stark/Iron Man is talking about.. But he somehow figures out it has to do with an army of zombies that takes exactly one year to create. Tony rushes out of bed, and to the computer, and then, turns into Iron Man!
The scene transitions again to a TV screen playing the opening of "Hammer Tunnel", which is supposed to be some sort of historic event, yet only one news reporter and one man are there to unveil the grand opening, but nonetheless very important. Iron Man, flies to the tunnel with War Machine, for what appears to be no reason, and sees that the zombies are coming out of the tunnel. He warns War Machine that if the zombies become free, they could take over the world--They must be stopped!
Iron Man and War Machine calls for the whole team to battle an "army" off 20 or so zombies, who have a little more than average strength, and a long battle commences in which three scenes are played over and over again. These scenes happen to be rather dull events in which Iron Man and the team punch the zombies over and over. As a result of punching the zombies that if touched by anyone, spread their "zombie-traits", they all collapse in less than a minute. The team is confident in knowing that they have saved the world from the army of zombies, whom have less power than even just one of Mandarin's Henchman. As a result, Mandarin is furious and it cuts to a scene of him screaming with furrowed eyebrows--How original.. Thus, ending the pilot episode.
If one has not already established from my obvious sarcasm and harsh critique, this episode is what the Spanish call, "Mierda". Beyond the revolting and poorly-edited scenes/character development, the plot is absolutely ludicrous--even for a superhero show meant for 8 year olds. When it takes a whole team of superheros capable of destroying a whole planet to engage in combat against 20 zombies with human strength, (whom were created by a super-villian and his team who have the strength equivelant to that of 30 million zombies, yet spends one year on making sure this rediculous plan works) it is just absolutely farfetched and far from enjoyable.
Watch this episode only if you are annorexic and need an excuse to vomit in disgust. Otherwise, spare the murder of your own eyes for another episode of Iron-Man.
For these reasons, I give this a 50%.