Ed: (looking at the picture handed to him by Ironside of a missing Beagle named Andy) You're kidding!
Ironside: If you were to look at a graph of my career, it would be represented by a never-rising line, first pounding the beat in the Toolies, then Detective, Detective Sergeant and Detective Lieutenant and now the dizzying height of ultimate success, the apogee.
Eve: Dog catcher. (smirks)
Ed: The Commissioner really didn't expect you to take the case, did he?
Ironside: I made my feelings quite clear. Where I was firm, he was stubborn. Where I was rational, he was arbitrary. So we compromised. I agreed that my staff handle this.
Ed: Staff! You mean...
Ironside: I mean you and you and you (looking at Ed, Eve and Mark).
Mark: Sorry, I'm not staff, just live here.
Ed: R.H.I.P. Rank has its privileges.
Eve: I call it P.T.B. Passing the Buck.
Ed: This is what the victim looks like.
Ironside: Ms. Cardwell insisted that her pet was stolen.
Ed: I better get the lab men on it. Check the little mutt's kennel for finger... ah, paw prints.
Eve: I'll put out an APB, all pooches bulletin.
Ironside: Enjoy, enjoy, it's your case.
Eve: Enjoy? Why, Chief, it's the most important case you've ever trusted us with.
Ed: We'll get right on it, first thing in the morning.