It Takes a Thief

Season 1 Episode 11

To Steal a Battleship

Aired Tuesday 8:30 PM Mar 26, 1968 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • The stuntman who doubles for Bill Bixby during the fight in the bedroom looks very little like the actor. The face and hair are considerably different.

  • Quotes

    • Noah: All right, Al, come on, let's hear it.
      Al: It was an attempted kidnap.
      Noah: By a blonde?
      Al: That's the best kind.

    • Noah: You'll be working with a woman. Her name is Irena Damos. She's one of ours. You'll meet her in the lobby.
      Al: She'll swoon all over me, right?
      Noah: Wrong. You carry this. She'll approach you and when she does, you ask her if this book belongs to her. She'll answer, "Yes, this is my copy of Euripides."
      Al: Sounds spicy.
      Noah: I don't know, I never read it.
      Al: Do we really have to go through with the cloak-and-dagger bit?
      Noah: We have our reasons.
      Al: Oh, fine. I stand around the lobby like some idiot, waiting for some dame to come over to me and tell me that she's lost her Euripides.
      Noah: Oh, you could do it standing on your head.
      Al: I ought to try. I'd be less conspicuous. You guys are beautiful.

    • Irena: You are frivolous!
      Al: Only when it counts.

    • Al: I've got a great idea. Why don't we drive out into the country and we could go to one of those places where they have that marvelous peasant dancing.
      Irena: Impossible. I do not dance.
      Al: What do you do?
      Irena: I work. You should try it.

    • George: Al. Well, I really am sorry to see you again. Now it looks like I'm going to have to get rough.
      Al: Now, George, don't do anything foolish. You never use guns.
      George: Yes I do! As soon as I start feeling uptight.

    • Al: You might consider a merger.
      George: You know what happens when a chicken merges with a weasel.
      Al: Oh, baby, you really know how to hurt a guy.

    • George: Now, Al, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I'm very serious. Get lost. Now you know I can play pretty dirty if I have to.
      Al: With old friends?
      George: Especially with old friends. And most especially when the old friend is you.

    • Al: Let me tell you about my chum, George Palmer. He and I date back to tapping piggy banks together. He's clever, resourceful, and almost as talented as I am.

    • Al: Didn't Mr. Bain tell you about my talents?
      Irena: Yes, he did.
      Al: Weren't you impressed?
      Irena: By a thief?
      Al: A thief. A thief who steals in the national interest. There's a big difference. History books will tell you that they've erected monuments to men like me. Don't shake your head. If I recover those NATO documents and you come to America, you might find me erected in the park. Would that attract you?
      Irena: No. But it would attract pigeons.
      Al: That's very funny.

    • Al: (answering the phone) Yes?
      Noah: This is Bain. Wake up, I don't pay you to sleep.
      Al: You don't pay me, period.

    • Al: We get the NATO papers, Palmer gets the necklace.
      Noah: Oh no. No thievery.
      Al: Thievery? What do you call taking the papers?
      Noah: Political expediency.

    • Irena: Where have you been?
      Al: Studying my Euripides. What have you been up to?
      Irena: Looking for you. Time is running out.
      Al: Time will do that.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

No results found.
No results found.
No results found.