It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Charlie: All right, damn it, Frank, this isn't about them or Mac or anyone else, this is about you and me, bro. This is about dudes living together, hanging out, sharing their bed, and their home and their life. Mac: No, Charlie, that's not what this is about! Charlie: Yes, it's what it's about. Mac: No. This is about... this is about people meeting back up after many years and sparks flying and families getting back together and raising little boys so that they can be happy again! Okay? Happy boys! This is about happy boys!

(Charlie is siphoning boxed wine from a grocery store into jars) Mac: Where did all these jars come from? Charlie: I emptied out all the tomato sauce. Mac: Hm. Seems to me like it would be easier to steal the box than the jars of liquid. Charlie: No, no, jars... its, you empty. You know what, where were you ten minutes ago when I was coming up with this plan, man?

Charlie: If we get your dad drunk enough, he's going to be able to see past your mother's looks, past her skin, all that eczema and shit. He's going to fall in love with her all over again, buddy. Now my mom -- she gets so belligerent and mean when she's drunk dude, she's going to drive Frank right back into my arms. Mac: Into your arms?

Charlie: You don't eat someone 'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!

Bonnie: Oh, Charlie, they're taking him away. They're taking away my Luther. Charlie: I'm sorry. Mom, I'm sorry, but can you listen to me for one second? Don't ever take Frank from me again, all right? He's mine now-- I got him back.

Charlie: And the seed... is planted.

Mac: This is, uh, delicious, Charlie. Charlie: Why thank you, Mac. Frank: It's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap. Charlie: Uh, Mother, how's yours? (Bonnie looks at Frank) Bonnie: Um... it's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap. Charlie: Well, I'm not surprised your saying that, considering I took a crap in yours.

Mac: Don't even think about breathing, bitch.

Dee: This man should not work here. Mac: Why? Charlie: Dude, why are you attacking us? Dee: Because this dude looks like he wants to eat me. Has he ever eaten anybody that you know of? Mac: I don't think so. Charlie: No, but I mean, it'd be pretty cool if he did, don't you think? Dee: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is really cool.