It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Mac: Lots of shady shit goes down in nursing homes, Frank, okay? These places are like prisons.
Frank: Like people getting ass raped?
Charlie: What! Oh my God, dude. No one's getting ass raped, Frank. Come on man.
Mac: No one's getting ass raped. No, people don't want to be here because they feel like they...
Frank: (interrupts) Because they're getting ass raped.
Charlie: No one's getting ass raped, Frank! For the love of God...

Charlie: Remember when we made the news show for eighth grade for social studies, dude? Mac: See, that was real news. Charlie: Yeah, we didn't distort facts. We told it like it was, you know? Mac: Yes. Dennis: Yeah, I remember that video. You guys were burning G.I. Joes and throwing rocks at cats.

Frank: What the hell are you reading? Dee: In Touch. Frank: In Touch? Why would you read that crap? Dennis: We are trying to stay in touch with what's happening in the world. Dee: Yeah, I'm sorry if we like to keep ourselves informed. Dennis: Yeah. Frank: You want to be informed? Read a newspaper. Dennis: Dude, nobody gets their news from a newspaper anymore. Dee picks up a paper Dee: Ah... no, no, no, but Dennis, look-- "Plutonium smuggled into Syria." Eek, that's gonna change my life drastically. Dennis: That's going to change everyone's lives. No one can go to Syria anymore for vacation. Dee: Oh, boo.

Dee: You set me on fire! Frank: We set the building on fire. You just happened to catch on fire.