Charlie Day |
Charlie Kelly |
Glenn Howerton |
Dennis Reynolds |
Rob McElhenney |
Mac |
Kaitlin Olson |
Deandra "Dee" Reynolds |
Danny DeVito |
Frank Reynolds (Season 2+) |
David Hornsby |
Colonel Cricket |
Guest Star |
Pat Crawford Brown |
Woman - Historical Society |
Guest Star |
Marcos Akiaten |
Native American Elder |
Guest Star |
Charles: Check his pulse.
Deandra: He doesn't have a head!
Charlie: Now, why would you hang a painting like this on your wall?
Mac: Well, it's the Historical Society, bro.
Dennis: Right.
Mac: They have to hang it up, you know what I mean?
Dennis: Yeah.
Charlie: Oh, well, we got to suffer just because some old dude who looks like Meryl Streep chopped down a cherry tree, like, ten million years ago?
Colonel Cricket: I do not wish to take her. I would like to win her favor, like a gentleman does a lady.
Dennis: That just does not compute with me.
MacDonald: I don't understand what your saying.
Dennis: Digging the accent, but don't understand you.
MacDonald: Are you saying--are you saying you're gay?
Historical Society Woman: So you're claiming that your bar had a direct role in the cracking of the Liberty Bell?
Charlie: Absolutely.
Historical Society Woman: Well then tell me about it.
Charlie: Well, the year was 1412...
Historical Society Woman: Stop this story... okay?!
Dennis: We're not quite finished yet. We're just climaxing there.
Franklin: We're not traders, Charlie. We're thieves. You want his pumpkins, we kill him and take his pumpkins. (laughs) This is 1776. We'll get away with it!
Pumpkin Guy: I can hear you.
Dennis: I saved you from being burned at the stake for being a witch.
Deandra: You're the one who accused me of being a witch in the first place, Dennis.
MacDonald: You know that chick I've been banging down at Independence Hall?
Deandra: Mm, the fat one.
MacDonald: She's not that fat.
Dennis: Yeah, she's pretty fat, dude. (goes for a high five) Good one, witch.
Deandra: Well you look at that? Sons of Liberty. Patriots meeting in our bar, speaking of revolution and freedom. Can you believe it, dear brother? We're witnessing history in the making.
Dennis: I do not give a shit, Deandra. Now, get me a flagon of ale.
Deandra: Get your own ale, dick.
MacDonald: (referring to Dennis) We were acting like British nobleman and then he couldn't drop the she-male thing, so we got tarred and feathered for being Sodomites!
After blowing the head off of Colonel Cricket's torso, the gang places him on a horse and replaces his head with the pumpkin that Charlie carved. This is an allusion to the Headless Horseman from Washington Irving's short story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
Deandra: I'll get you, my pretties!
This is an allusion to the Wicked Witch of the West's famous threat to Dorothy and her dog, Toto in The Wizard of Oz (1939).
|
Saturday
No results found.
Sunday
No results found.
Monday
No results found.
|
S 8 : Ep 10
Aired 12/20/12
S 8 : Ep 9
Aired 12/13/12
S 8 : Ep 8
Aired 12/6/12
S 8 : Ep 7
Aired 11/29/12
User Score: 2235
User Score: 97
User Score: 76
User Score: 60
User Score: 45
User Score: 43
User Score: 32
User Score: 27
User Score: 24
User Score: 20