It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Mac: I'll tell you what buddy, how about I take your wife upstairs and show her what it's like to be deep inside a really big house? Tad: What? Dennis: What? Mac: What? Dennis: Uh, you--you'll have to excuse my associate. It's just his passion for quality real estate that makes him so intense.

(The gang tries to kick a family out of a house Frank bought) Mac: It doesn't matter. We shouldn't bash these people up. Dennis: No, no! Of course we shouldn't bash these people up. Look, okay, absolutely we can cave the husband's skull in here. Yes, we can take the wife down to the basement, have a frenzy free for all with her. We can tie the kids up in their little rooms upstairs, so they wouldn't hear any of it. Mac: Dennis, in that scenario we have to kill the kids, 'cause they would've seen our faces. Dennis: Right, we can smear the walls with their blood. Guys, there are any number of twisted scenarios that could play out here, but I think the easiest thing, really, it's to just go get the deed. Charlie: Right, why get weird?

(The guys are arguing about house investments) Dee: (screaming) I'm having a baby! (long moment of silence) Frank: Do yourself a favor and flush it out.