It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Frank: I was saying the male escort, is really hard to come by.
Charlie: I'm picking up what you're putting down. (claps hands) I'll do it.
Frank: Uh, Charlie, you're not quite cut from the right cloth.
Charlie: What?!
Mac: Make it me.
Frank: Mac, you're too low class. All those women are gonna think they're catch something from you.
Mac: (smiling) They are. They will.

Dennis: Frank, you know what? As a matter of fact, you really don't smell that much better. If you could get out of here, that would be really helpful for me. Frank: Don't talk to me that way, Dennis. Don't talk to me. I am your pimp: you are my hoe.

Dee: What about you, Dennis? Dennis: Well I... Frank: Dennis is a prostitute now. Mac: Good. Dennis: No, I'm not a prostitute, okay? Frank: Yes, he is. Dennis: There is no banging old ladies or dudes, all right? I will be providing a very important service, however, as what I would like to be called: a handsome companion. Mac: To dudes? Charlie: To guys or... Dennis: No, not to dudes. No, hang on. Hold on. Hang on. To old fancy rich ladies who want to do classy, exotic, fancy things with me. Mac: Great, Dennis, you keep banging dudes.

Buster: (to Charlie) So, come on, you old son of a gun, and--and let Buster do a line off your boner.

Charlie: Oh, you know, I told you. I asked for more money. Dee: What?! Charlie: Yes, I did. Dee: No, you didn't. Charlie: I was using dead presidents as a cover. You didn't get that? Dee: He said to the man, he wanted many, many thousands of green people from history times.

Charlie: All right, these are the kind of nose clams that you crush up into a line of white powder, and you snort them up through your nose, and they make you high. You use a dollar bill or a straw to do it, they come from Colombia, they're illegal, and they rhyme with propane.

Dennis: So I think what you're saying, Sweet Dee, is that we could use the unsolvable drug problem in our society... Dee: Uh-huh. Dennis: ...to fix the solvable light problem in our bar. Charlie: Absolutely, I hear you. We're saying, we're going to do the drugs, and then we're going to try to fix all the lights.