It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Johnny: Here's to you, pussy hands!

Mac: I'm so hard that people are scared of me and they should be. 'Cause I'll explode all over them.

Dennis: You know what, I'm walking from this. (Frank slaps him) Ow. What the hell, dude?! Frank: I'm knocking some sense into you, Dennis. This is all you got. (He slaps Dennis again) Dennis: Ah! Dude, why do you keep hitting me? Frank: Don't talk back to me. Dennis: Okay, sorry. Frank: Look, I'm going to get you out of this. It's you and me against the world. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. Dennis: You promise? Frank: I promise. And hey, I don't want hit you, baby. So, please don't make me, okay? You're my one and only. You've go to do right by me, okay? Dennis: Okay.

Frank: Every pimp has a chalice. This one's the shit.

Cricket: You guys, you've got to make it sexy. Hips and nips, otherwise, I'm not eatin'.

Charlie: I love you, Peter Nincompoop.