It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Season 2 Episode 2

Dee: I haven't seen you for a month and I'm standing here in a neck brace. You gonna ask how I'm doing or what happened or...?
Barbara: I assume you did something stupid.

Charlie: Why don't you crack an egg of knowledge all over me, buddy.

Dennis: That is a racial slur, Charlie.
Mac: Calling somebody a Jew who is a Jew is not a racial slur.

Barbara: I can't even talk to you anymore. Standing up for yourself! Standing up for immigrants! I don't know what you're turning into, Frank, but it's making me sick!

Frank: Well, I didn't take anything.
Barbara: It's empty. Someone came in and took everything.
Frank: Maybe you should have somebody deported, like you used to, in the old days.
Charlie: Beautiful.
(They high-five, and then Barbara slaps Charlie across the face)

Barbara: While you were out making money, who do you think was at home, cooking and cleaning and raising your children?
Frank: A series of Mexican women.
Charlie: "A series..." Unbelievable, dude! (They hi-five) You're on fire.

Barbara: You were talking about giving away all of our money.
Frank: My money. I made it, you spent it.
Charlie: Burn! There you go buddy. (They hi-five)

Charlie: A grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!
Frank: Okay, you're either inside or outside?
Charlie: Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside. Butter inside, cheese outside.

Charlie: (to Frank) Where are your balls, dude? Where are your balls?! Okay, you're a grown man. Think about your balls.

Charlie: Can we... do you think we could make this look more like a cave?

Detective Tanner: You gentleman know anything about this?
(Holds up a tape labeled "Jihad Tape")
Charlie: Uhhh... ohhh, s**t.

Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work.
Mac and Charlie: (in unison) WHOA!
Dennis: Whoa, what?
Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that!
Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say?
Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard "J" on us.

Charlie: Let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window!
Mac: What? Why?
Charlie: They stamp it out, and they get poop all over their shoes!
Mac: What in the hell is that going to accomplish?
Charlie: Poop on their shoes. Their shoes, dude!

Dennis: Would you guys not use the word "Jew". It makes me uncomfortable.