It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5

Frank: Deandra, you got any bacon bits? We like to put them in Artemis's hair, and they rain down on me when we bang.
Artemis: I feel like a cobb salad! It's amazing!

(Dennis, Mac, and Dee walk into the office while Frank is on the phone)
Frank: Aw, I'm a bad boy, I'm a bad boy. Put some vegetable oil on it, that'll make you feel better. Okay, bye sexy.
Dennis: (groans) Who was that?
Frank: That was my booty call. We're into some really weird food fetish stuff.
Dennis: Gross.
Dee: Okay, you guys listen up. We have serious problem. The Waitress is getting married.
Frank: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Artemis told me.
Dee: Since when do you talk to Artemis?
Frank: She's my booty call!

Dee: I don't know, what do you think, it's kinda of doing nothing for my hip area and making a mess of my boobs. You know what, why don't you grab five more.
Lucy: Look, we don't normally do this, but I think I'm going to need some proof that you're actually getting married.
Dee: What, why?
Lucy: Because you've been coming in here and trying on wedding dresses every Saturday for over a year now.

Charlie: Do, uh, do wasps make honey?
Dennis: No, wasps do not make honey.
Charlie: All right, we'll I'm gonna check it out anyway. There could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that.

Charlie: My good man, uh, now I'm gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard.
Dennis: Ah.
Charlie: And a side of your finest jelly beans, raw.

Jackie: What is it that you do again?
Charlie: I work... I'm, like, a janit, and, um... I'm a... full-on rapist. You know, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.

(Charlie blows his breath on the guys' faces)
Mac: Oh my God!
Dennis: What is that? What was that? Was that cheese? Have you eaten cheese?
(Charlies nods)
Mac: How much cheese have you eaten today?
Charlie: How much cheese is too much cheese?
Dennis: Any amount of cheese... before a date is too much cheese!