It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

(Jackie storms out of the restaurant after Charlie tries to grope her)
Dennis: You're grabbing her breasts? What are you doing?!
Charlie: I don't know. What does "make a move" mean?
Mac: It doesn't mean stab at her breasts with your fingers.

Frank: Deandra, you got any bacon bits? We like to put them in Artemis's hair, and they rain down on me when we bang. Artemis: I feel like a cobb salad! It's amazing!

(Dennis, Mac, and Dee walk into the office while Frank is on the phone) Frank: Aw, I'm a bad boy, I'm a bad boy. Put some vegetable oil on it, that'll make you feel better. Okay, bye sexy. Dennis: (groans) Who was that? Frank: That was my booty call. We're into some really weird food fetish stuff. Dennis: Gross. Dee: Okay, you guys listen up. We have serious problem. The Waitress is getting married. Frank: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Artemis told me. Dee: Since when do you talk to Artemis? Frank: She's my booty call!

Dee: I don't know, what do you think, it's kinda of doing nothing for my hip area and making a mess of my boobs. You know what, why don't you grab five more. Lucy: Look, we don't normally do this, but I think I'm going to need some proof that you're actually getting married. Dee: What, why? Lucy: Because you've been coming in here and trying on wedding dresses every Saturday for over a year now.

Charlie: Do, uh, do wasps make honey? Dennis: No, wasps do not make honey. Charlie: All right, we'll I'm gonna check it out anyway. There could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that.

Charlie: My good man, uh, now I'm gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard. Dennis: Ah. Charlie: And a side of your finest jelly beans, raw.

Jackie: What is it that you do again? Charlie: I work... I'm, like, a janit, and, um... I'm a... full-on rapist. You know, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.

(Charlie blows his breath on the guys' faces) Mac: Oh my God! Dennis: What is that? What was that? Was that cheese? Have you eaten cheese? (Charlies nods) Mac: How much cheese have you eaten today? Charlie: How much cheese is too much cheese? Dennis: Any amount of cheese... before a date is too much cheese!

(Mac and Dennis enter Charlie's apartment) Dennis: What are you doing there, buddy? Charlie: I'm trying to smoke these hornets to death so I can get their honey, but they keep flying up the tube stinging me all over my face and I think I just swallowed one.