It's Like, You Know...

Season 1 Episode 7

The Conversation

0
Aired Unknown May 05, 1999 on ABC
6.6
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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The Conversation
AIRED:
Arthur covets Robbie's casual sex life, explaining that women take him too seriously; Jennifer and Lauren hang out in a bar trying to confront the critic who gave Jennifer a bad review; and prison buff Shrug visits his friend Hilo (the unseen protagonist of the high-speed chase in "The Getaway") in jail, and begs to be locked up overnight.moreless

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (25)

      • Robbie: It's always so disillusioning to hear of adultery happening outside of New York or L.A.

      • Arthur: Married women love me. Apparently, I'm not so great as a choice, but I am fabulous as an option.

      • Arthur: The interesting thing is, while I find so many beautiful women unattainable, a great deal of unattractive women find me very attainable.
        Robbie: Really?
        Arthur: Yeah. I'm like the dream guy for homely women.

      • Jennifer: Not only is she nuts, but how about the cleavage situation?
        Lauren: I know. She should really have a dimmer switch on those things.
        Jennifer: We should only see that much when someone's breast-feeding in public.

      • Arthur: Did she wear a big cross around her neck?
        Robbie: Yeah, why?
        Arthur: Oh, kind of a turn on.
        Robbie: Really?
        Arthur: For a Jew? Absolutely.

      • Arthur: I mean, don't get me wrong, there are tons of gorgeous women in New York, but when you look at them they seem so sharp and sophisticated. You just want them to like you, in even the smallest way. They're like the kind of women who can hang up on you in person. I mean, I'd see them walking down Columbus Avenue, with the ponytail coming out of the back of the baseball cap, and talking in that kind of Radcliffe Reggae, and thinking to myself, I'd just be thrilled to even have a platonic relationship with you. With a little sex thrown in.

      • Shrug: So, Hilo, what's it like in here?
        Hilo: It's like, you know... death.

      • Arthur: Oh, you would not believe how hard I've tried. I concentrate to a degree usually reserved for splitting atoms. I'm there exploring, tabulating, running tests, checking flow charts, taking samples, doing market research... You'd think I earned my orgasm on a commission basis.

      • Lauren: Hey, quick question. What exactly is a nervous breakdown? I mean, is it the kind of thing where you shake and fall over, or is it more like a disease?
        Jennifer: It's not really a idesease, it's more like an option.

      • Robbie: I'm glad you said that. I thought I was being paranoid.
        Arthur: Well, paranoid is good. At least you think people are paying attention to you.

      • Arthur: I, on the other hand, am not drop-dead handsome. I am drop-dead pleasant.

      • Robbie: How dumb was he?
        Arthur: Unbelievable. Y'know, I once had him convinced that Mt. Rushmore was a natural rock formation.

      • Jennifer: You're born. You have a snack. You die.

      • Lauren: My last boyfriend in Ohio said to me: "Laren, I want you to have my baby."
        Jennifer: What did you say?
        Lauren: I told him to have his own baby.

      • Robbie: Don't get me wrong, I still like a meaningful relationship with a smart girl.
        Arthur: In Los Angeles? That's like going to London for dental work.

      • Robbie: American woman with a great body has to move to L.A.
        Arthur: Has to?
        Robbie: Sure. With the warm weather, they can keep the merchandise in the front window year rounds.

      • Lauren: That critic is an idiot!
        Jennifer: I know he's an idiot!
        Lauren: Well you should tell him he's an idiot!
        Jennifer: Why, I could never convince him he's an idiot?
        Lauren: Why not?
        Jennifer: Because he's an idiot.

      • Shrug: What crime gets you one-night jail in L.A.?
        Arthur: Reading a book.

      • Arthur: I am telling you, Robbie, to be honest, I've never had sex. (Robbie looks at him strangely) I've only made love.
        Robbie: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

      • Arthur: You know, when a naked woman does finally seek into my life, it's never midless sex. It's always, you know, bodyless sex.

      • Arthur: The way women look at me it's like I've auctioned off the middle rights to my libido on national television.

      • Arthur: Do you realize that I've never had a one-night stand?
        Robbie: Really?
        Arthur: Well, I've had one-night stands. They just lasted for 3 years.

      • Robbie: Did you ever date Elsie Carpus?
        Arthur: No.
        Robbie: She liked you.
        Arthur: How do you know?
        Robbie: She told me one night when we were in bed.

      • Arthur: College is so sexy. You know, you'd see a girl you hardly knew on campus and you'd kiss her 'hello' on the lips. In the real world, I hardly ever give a 'hello' kiss on the lips. And when I do, I'm so out of practice, half the time I miss.

      • Arthur: Elsie Carpus. She was adorable.
        Robbie: Yeah.
        Arthur: With those freckles, it's like she got a sun tan through screen door.

    • NOTES (2)

      • This season concludes with 5 episodes unaired. The remaining episodes were aired as a part of season two, although some of them never aired, becuase the show eventually got axed.

      • Series put on hiatus after seven episodes, but eventually renewed for a second season.

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