It's Like, You Know...

Season 2 Episode 1

Twins

0
Aired Unknown Sep 21, 1999 on ABC
6.3
out of 10
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Twins
AIRED:
Lauren dates a television star who is a Siamese twin; Jennifer alters her birth date in a government computer and almost loses her identity -- especially when her father (whom Jennifer is avoiding on a trip to New York) hires Shrug to expose the woman who is "impersonating" Jennifer.moreless

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (22)

      • Jennifer: So what you're saying is, I'm a twenty-six year old girl who has decided to lie about her age so that I can be ten years older and to tell people that I've had a nose job, all so that I can assume the identity of a somewhat famous actress who goes to therapy three times a week, hasn't had a successful relationship in two years, and is too afraid to fly unless it's first class. Is that the best life you think I could find?
        Shrug: No one said it was a happy story?

      • Arthur: Y'know, it's not just tripe, it is exploitive tripe, pandering to the morbid curiosity of the voyeuristic masses. Y'know, what do you expect from the mindless drooling electronic vomitorium that is television?

      • Arthur: It's like they're saying, y'know, 'Hey, we may not put black people on our shows, or Asians or Latinos, but we've got siamese twins!'

      • Shrug: People don't even want mystery in their lives. No, they wanna know what sex their baby is before it's born. They want to sample the frozen yogurt before they order it. They want psychics, five-day forecasts, exit polls, caller ID, ETAs, ETDs, X-Rays, pre-nuptial agreements... Although pre-nuptial agreements... I can get behind those.

      • Fake Siamese Twin #2: Anyway, Danna, do you wanna go upstairs and do the wild thing?
        Danna: I don't think so. You're not real siamese twins. What's the point? Then it's just sex with two guys.

      • Shrug: (about Jennifer Grey) I'm telling you, I was up all night thinking about it and then I realized we just met Jennifer three years ago. With the whole nose thing, we didn't even know who the hell she was until she introduced herself.

      • Lauren: (about siamese twins) I just don't think Jason is my tipe.
        Arthur: (reffering to Jason being a siamese twin)He does come with baggage.
        (Lauren hold a banana in her hands)
        Lauren: Yeah, baggage...

      • Lauren: There is one thing I don't like about dating siamese twins.
        Arthur: You mean, like starting off a sentence by saying: 'There is one thing I don't like about dating siamese twins'?

      • Cop: I've got a case for you.
        Shrug: Why don't you handle it yourself?
        Cop: We're cops, we don't want to get out hands dirty.
        Shrug: 'Dirty hands' is my middle name.
        Cop: Really?
        Shrug: No, it's Lloyd.

      • Waiter: Anything I can bring you Sir? Some sorbet perhaps?
        Arthur: Sorbet? I remember when it was 50 cents and they called it ices.
        Siamese Twin #2: (about Arthur) I should have been attached to that guy.

      • Lauren: So how does this work exactly? (about siamese twins)
        Siamese Twin #1: Well, were joined at the hip, and we share a bladder and a liver.
        Lauren: Wow, I've shared liver and onions.

      • Jennifer: Aaron Spelling only sees young feds, or girls who's last name is Spelling.

      • Arthur: (about siamese twins) Lauren, you're going out with someone who's attached to someone else.
        Lauren: Everybody in L.A. does that.

      • Danna: Oh Robbie, I've forgot how sweet you were?
        Robbie: Yeah, well, I'm doing my best to raise the trophy wife awareness.
        (They kiss, the realtor enters the room, they stop kissing)
        The Realtor: Would you like to see the rest of the house?

      • Robbie: So, 6 month marriage... Any kids?

      • Jason: Are you single?
        (Lauren smiles, and then gets real)
        Lauren: Single in what way?

      • Robbie: You're looking at this house too?
        Danna: No, I'm not looking at it. I live here. With my husband.
        Robbie: Oh, you've got married?
        Danna: Yeah.
        Robbie: Good for you.
        Danna: We're getting divorced.
        Robbie: It happens.

      • Jason: Are you single?
        (Lauren smiles, and then gets real)
        Lauren: Single in what way?

      • Jennifer: It's the station house. It looks so much smaller in person.
        Shrug: Well, the camera adds 10 pounds.

      • Arthur: 26? You told them you're 26?
        Jennifer: So I fudged a little.
        Arthur: A little? Why don't you just change your name to Dorian?

      • Mr Teitelbaum: Prunes or dried plums. Raisins or dried grapes. And yet we've got prune juice but no plum juice, and grape juice but no raisin juice. Should there either be plum juice and grape juice, or raisin juice and prune juice?
        Shrug: Get out of my office!

      • Shrug: So, Mr Teitelbaum, you think you've got a case? Hit me!
        Mr Teitelbaum: Well recently it's come to my attention...
        Shrug: (interrupts him) Get to the bit, bud! You're killing me here!

    • NOTES (3)

      • The opening song now doesn't feature the credits, but just the title of the show, and shots from season one's opening theme song credits. Now, the actors are all credited in the second scene of the show.

      • Shrug opened a detective agency in the fourth episode, "The Client," but this is the only other time that the agency was mentioned (or seen) during the run of episodes on ABC.

      • Shrug reveals that his middle name is Lloyd in this episode.

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