It's Like, You Know...

Arthur: To me, the most exciting part of sex is getting the bra off. After that it's just work.

Robbie: You're gonna be like everyone else, talkin' about how you hate L.A., like it's a prison camp with five area codes. How the people are so dumb, so plastic, so silicone. How nothing's open late, you have to drive to take a walk, the houses are ugly, the clothes are loud, the bagels are doughy, the pizza sucks, the murder trials last two years, the marriages last two months. Then you throw in earthquakes, aftershocks, mudslides, road rage, race riots, guns, tasers, pepper spray.... Just as your head's about to explode, boom. One warm afternoon you play softball and you think to yourself, 'My God, it's January.' Next day, you wake up, it's two years later, you've sold out every belief you ever held sacred. And you don't care, 'cause you're living way-too-happily-ever-after in a beach house waiting for your Guatemalan gardner like very other brain-dead southern Californian. Robbie: Ew, what is on this pastrami? Shrug: Raisins. Robbie: Oh yeah, I left that out.

Shrug: What was he driving? Robbie: A Honda. Jennifer: A Honda? Robbie: A Honda. Shrug: Maybe it was a rental. Robbie: I think it was his Honda. Shrug: Why would he drive a Honda? Jennifer: Maybe he does voice-overs for Honda. Robbie: Maybe he owns a Honda dealership. Shrug: Maybe it was his wife's Honda. Jennifer: Maybe he doesn't know it's a Honda. Shrug: Maybe it was an Acura Honda. Robbie: No, it was a Honda.

Robbie: Shrug's family has one of the largest private collections of money in the world.

Lauren: Why aren't you married? Arthur: Oh, that's a tough one, I don't know. Bad luck, bad timing, bad taste, taking the wrong subway on the wrong day, irreconcilable differences, thyroid problems, irreconcilable similarities, parents, parents... parents, jealousy, resentment, shyness, lesbians... oh, who the hell knows.

Lauren: My philosophy is, don't have a philosophy. Arthur: Well, you're young. Lauren: Yeah.

Shrug: It's guys like him that make America great. Robbie: Yes, he makes America great. Shrug: Not us. Robbie: No, we don't make America great. We make America pleasant. Shrug: Yes. And we get no credit for it.