Jack & Jill Season 2 Episode 10

Barto: Stop, stop, I am so close to sixth grade I can feel the zit coming in right here.

Audrey: The kid got a little free with his hands.
Barto: Tropic of Cancer?
Audrey: Capricorn.

Jill: Tiramisu? You made tiramisu?
Jack: I made... a trip to Dean and DeLuca and bought tiramisu.

Elisa: How did Jill take it?
Jack: Very calmly... at least, he will when I actually tell him. I'm thinking of cooking for him tonight.
Elisa: Yeah.
Jack: In a G-string.

Audrey: It was the freakiest thing. I look up and the three of them are standing outside the studio window drooling like dogs watching a pork chop.

Mikey: How's the dinner rush?
Emily: Uh, not really a rush, more like a determined waddle.

Emily: I figure if I take care of other people's kids, I'll feel less urgency to make my own, you know.

Mikey: You wanna say yes?
Barto: Would I be chatting you up in the men's room if I didn't?
Mikey: What else can I say? Vaya con dios.
Barto: Gracias, amigo.