Jack & Jill

Travis: What was that? Audrey: That was me singin', baby. Travis: Are you planning on whooping every time you finish a verse? Audrey: Maybe.

Elisa: It would be really for me if you guys... Jack: We won't. Elisa: Well, I can't ask you not to. Jack: You don't have to.

Mikey: You're gonna go, don't go thinkin' 'friend.' You'll give off friend pheromones, before you know it girls will stop shaving for you. Barto: Wwwwwait a minute, I'm still stuck on friend pheromones. Mikey: There's a very small window of opportunity where a friendship can turn into sex, but if you let that window close, there's no coming back.

Jack: So, Laurie, what was Jill like in bed? I mean, high-school.

Jack: (to Jill) So, who was the naked girl?

Jill: (to Jack) That's a nice waddle you got there.

Audrey: I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just quit. Barto: No, that's not your style. Audrey: What do you know? Barto: Well, I can tell, you don't give up that easily.

Jill: What should we do next? There's this great bakery in Little Italy, or we could catch some jazz in the Village or see a late movie... Laurie: Or we could just go back to your place. Jill: That would be closest.

Jack: Have fun. Be good. Jill: Well, which is it?

Jack: (to Jill) You look nice... er than usual.

Audrey: (to Jack) One word, and I'm walkin' into your bedroom while you're sleepin' and cuttin' off all your hair.

Jill: It's kismet. Mikey: He just said it again. Barto: Maybe I should grow a goatee.