Barto: If I don't stop wasting my time thinking about Audrey I'm going to flunk out of med school.
Travis: What was that? Audrey: That was me singin', baby. Travis: Are you planning on whooping every time you finish a verse? Audrey: Maybe.
Elisa: It would be really for me if you guys... Jack: We won't. Elisa: Well, I can't ask you not to. Jack: You don't have to.
Mikey: You're gonna go, don't go thinkin' 'friend.' You'll give off friend pheromones, before you know it girls will stop shaving for you. Barto: Wwwwwait a minute, I'm still stuck on friend pheromones. Mikey: There's a very small window of opportunity where a friendship can turn into sex, but if you let that window close, there's no coming back.
Jack: So, Laurie, what was Jill like in bed? I mean, high-school.
Jack: (to Jill) So, who was the naked girl?
Jill: (to Jack) That's a nice waddle you got there.
Audrey: I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just quit. Barto: No, that's not your style. Audrey: What do you know? Barto: Well, I can tell, you don't give up that easily.
Jill: What should we do next? There's this great bakery in Little Italy, or we could catch some jazz in the Village or see a late movie... Laurie: Or we could just go back to your place. Jill: That would be closest.
Jack: Have fun. Be good. Jill: Well, which is it?
Jack: (to Jill) You look nice... er than usual.
Audrey: (to Jack) One word, and I'm walkin' into your bedroom while you're sleepin' and cuttin' off all your hair.
Jill: It's kismet. Mikey: He just said it again. Barto: Maybe I should grow a goatee.
Jill: It was like kismet. Barto: Did he just say kismet?
Episode Title: "Not Just a River in Egypt" The title of this episode refers to the phrase that's a play on words: "Denial is not just a river in Egypt".
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