Jack & Jill

Barto: I don't want your fish money, dad.

Jonas: You have no idea how happy your mother is. Barto: See, I knew she'd be happy. Listen, I want her to stop all this happy business. Right now!

Sarah: It was turning into the hickey that ate New York.

Jill: This candle is gonna make her not feel lonely? Jack: It's a scented friendship candle. Jill: What's friendship smell like? Jack: Apparently vanilla.

Mikey: Hey, you know, makin' your own hours is so much better than not making them.

Jill: (to Elisa) You know, you've gotten pretty annoying since you've started seeing that shrink. Barto: I was just gonna call her mean, but yeah... Jill: Annoying? Barto: Yeah, that'll do for me.

Barto: We're just keepin' it casual, keepin' real, y'know. Mikey: You're keeping it real? Barto: Hey, I can keep it real.

Jack: Look up, dead bug. Look up, dead bug. Look up, dead bug.

Barto: I'm a very nice guy. Sarah: Nice guys don't make girls build walls.