Jack & Jill

Russell: Wash windows? Audrey: Don't forget to bring your squeegee.

Audrey: Look, if we have sex tonight it'll go from being an occassional thing to an every night kind of thing, and once we get on that train there's no gettin' off. Before you know it we feel like we're living together. Russell: Which we are. Audrey: We live separately in the same apartment. Russell: Oh, details, details.

Barto: Sounds good. Mikey: Am I gonna live? Barto: Not if you don't shut up.

Mikey: I just want to restate one more time for the record: no prostate check. Barto: Oh, you caught me. This was my sneaky way of getting to stick my finger up your butt.

Elise: You decided to have a church wedding? Jack: Well, we didn't really decide. My mother decided for us when she emailed me and said she would kill herself if I didn't get married in a Catholic church with a Catholic priest.