The gang all attend the wedding of Jill's old girlfriend and apparently "best sexual partner ever" Becky. At the wedding, Jill tells Jack that he is worried about his financial future and perhaps won't be ready for marriage for another five or ten years. Jack immediately panics at the thought of being single until her "nipples are in a different zip code than [her] collarbone" and immediately starts handing out napkin advertisements intended to boost Jill's struggling photography business. When he is disgusted with her take charge fix everything attitude, she decides to drown her sorrows in a lot of alcohol and approximately two thirds of the wedding cake, which unfortunately turns out to have nuts in it. Jack, who is allergic to nuts, passes out and is taken to the hospital where we are left to worry about whether she stopped breathing long enough to leave her brain dead or at least disabled enough to need a full time male nurse. Frantic with worry, Jill tells Jack that if she will just wake up that he will drop down on one knee and ask her to marry him immediately. Miraculously Jack wakes up!
Mikey is determined to score at the wedding. Apparently he has never left a wedding alone and intends to keep his record perfect. Unfortunately, all the girls at the wedding knew him in college and are unwilling to be his latest meaningless conquest. Assured that Jack will be all right, Mikey starts hitting on nurses.
Elisa is depressed at the thought of attending the wedding solo. In order to not be stuck at the singles table, she doctors a few place settings. Everything looks great when she meets Frank, who seemingly has done the same thing. Unfortunately Frank is so smitten that he immediately plans out their next six months together, and invites Elisa to meet his parents as soon as possible. Elisa flees.
Barto anxiously awaits Audrey's return from Los Angeles. Audrey phones to tell Barto not to pick her up at the wedding and not to call her anymore. Barto immediately starts acting like a stalker, which somehow works when Audrey decides to show up at the wedding. Audrey and Barto resolve to take it slowly and see what happens.