Jack & Jill Season 1 Episode 12

Jill: Even though there are a lot of things that I don't know, about me, about where I'll end up, there's one thing that I know I want more than anything that I can possibly imagine wanting, and that's you, Jack. I want you. You're my wish. Okay, and you have been from the first minute that we met.

Jill: My greatest wish didn't come true.
Ice-cream man: There's only one explanation. You don't know what your greatest wish is. People alwys make the same mistake.
Jill: You do this a lot?
Ice-cream man: It's only a hobby. The real money's still in the ice-cream business.

Jonathan: I try to smile a lot. People always ask you what's wrong when you're frowning.

Alison: I hope you find what you're looking for.
Jill: I hope you do too.

Jack: You're sweet.
Mikey: Aw, so are you. Which makes up for the fact that you're the world's worst waitress.

Jack: You know, I'm not your target demographic.
Jill: No, that would be psychotic eight-year-old boys... and marketing executives.

Jack: Whoever invented the term Happy Hour obviously never worked at a bar. What are you still doing up?
Jill: Contemplating killing myself with a miniature cannon.

Jack: I don't borrow money from boyfriends. It's way too... yucky, I think, is the technical term.

Jack: I could sell one of my ovaries on the internet.