Jacob: I became a library ninja to help bring in the library's most-wanted crook. Turns out that this big, bad Bookworm was my Dad, or so I thought. I realize now I jumped to conclusions. Make sure you know all the facts too. Just like me, Jacob Two-Two.
Female Library Ninja: The Bookworm is a cold and devious foe.
Jacob: It's my duty. My Dad says I'm a noble knight doing battle against the forces of ignorance.
Female Librarian: Your father would be proud of you, Jacob. If you could tell him, that is.
Male Library Ninja: Which you can't.
Female Library Ninja: A library ninja is sworn to secrecy as symbolized by our secret greeting --- shh.
Female Library Ninja: Welcome to Library Ninja Control. I knew you wouldn't disappoint us.
Male Library Ninja: Sorry about all the cloak-and-dagger stuff, but ninjas are sticklers for secrecy. (alarm sounds) Whoa. Looks like we got a kid in Sector Nine defacing a Canadian history text.
Morty: You're volunteering at the library? My son, the library volunteer. A noble knight doing battle against the forces of ignorance.
Jacob: I lost, Dad. The forces of ignorance have pointy teeth and little hands that can throw stuff.
Female Library Ninja: These are dark days for libraries. Budget cuts, DVDs, TV, video games. We're taking a real beating.
Male Library Ninja: I've even heard kid say that they think reading is boring.
Morty: You know, the public library is a fine and noble institution. We should all pay it the same respect as you do, Jacob. Knowledge for free for everyone is a glorious concept, like ---
Jacob: (grabbing on overdue library book) Dad, they open at eight o'clock.
Morty: (releases book to Jacob)) Better hustle, kiddo.
Morty: What are you reading?
Jacob: Encyclopedia Andy and the Cloaked Assassins of Doom.
Morty: Must be a real page-turner. Is it as thrilling as The Amazing Ronald vs. the Moldy Mummy?
Jacob: Nothing's as thrilling as one of your books, Dad.
Morty: Good answer.