Jersey Shore

Season 1 Episode 1

A New Family

Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Dec 03, 2009 on MTV - Music Television



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Pauly D: I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle; it's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.

    • Jenni "J-WOWW": I am like a praying mantis; after I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.

    • Snooki: When I woke up I was like what did I do last night? Like, what did I do? I f--ked up...story of my life.

    • Angelina: How do you go in a f--king jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini, that's a little bit more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all, ya know what I mean?

    • Ronnie: Get ready to party, get out there, get filthy, creepy, and weird.

    • Angelina: I am the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby.

    • Ronnie: You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to s--t.

    • Vinny: Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards.

    • Sammi: If you're not a guido then you can get the f--k outta my face.

    • Sammi: A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heals, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.

    • Sammi: I'm the sweetest b---h you'll ever meet, but do not f--k with me.

    • Mike "The Situation: You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

    • Angelina: I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh-t, I mean, come on, I'm hot.

    • Sammi: The smaller the shorts, the better because all the little Guido guys out there love them.

    • Mike "The Situation": My abs are so ripped up, I call it "the situation."

    • Snooki: My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a juiced, hot, tan guy and live my life.

    • Pauly D: I got a f---ing tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about being a Guido and living up to that lifestyle.

  • Notes

    • Music featured in this episode:
      "Out of Control" by The Damn Automatics
      "Black Magic" by Mink
      "Desire" by The Skeptics
      "Girl In A Man's World" by Arden Kaywin
      "Easy Sell" by Another Cynthia
      "Elizabeth" by Dirty Little Secret
      "High Heels In The Sand" by Lucky Pineapple
      "Moonlight Spiderbite" by Lucky Pineapple
      "Miles of Grey" by Discover America
      "Through The Night" by Mark Leonard
      "Hey Abe Lincoln" by Dr. Pants
      "Donkey Kong" by Another Cynthia
      "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" by The Blakes
      "Deadstock Rock" by End Roulette
      "Big Fake Love" by The Handcuffs
      "Loser" by The Damn Automatics

  • Allusions