Jersey Shore Season 1 Episode 6

Pauly D: It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.

Snooki: (about Vinny's mom) She brought like four trays of frickin' ziti, the sauce, ya know, all this food. We got amazing cold cuts, loaves of bread, I'm like 'oh my god, it's f--kin' Christmas.'

Snooki: Don't bring home any f--kin' elephants like that ever again.

Mike "The Situation": I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn't want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.

Pauly D: Through the scuffle, Snooks gets hit in the face again. Poor girl...she needs to take some karate classes or somethin'. She needs self defense. Somebody's got to teach her how to fight or duck.

Snooki: This one girl starts like charging me like a f--kin' hippo.

Mike "The Situation": There's one huge grenade launcher, there's one grenade, and then there's one cutie.

Ronnie: I'll suck your big toe right now, I don't give a s--t.

Snooki: I hate guys. I'm turning lesbian, I swear.

Sammi: (drunk, to Ronnie) You stumpy bastard.
Ronnie: You're a stumpy bastard, too. Listen, with your Flinestone big toe, with your doorstop big toe.

Vinny: (on The Situation's sister) She's Mike without a six-pack. She looked like Mike with a wig on. I was a little bit freaked out.

Mike "The Situation": G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.