Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 1

Snooki: You're a white rat and you're f--king pale and you're nasty.
Angelina: Yeah well you're too tan and you're disgusting.
Snooki: I AM tan and I like being tan B--CH!

Mike "The Situation": Ronnie's at the club, hooking up with Grenades - that is a bigger, ugly chick - and also Landmines - which is a thin, ugly chick - and um, lovin' life.

Snooki: I feel like a pilgrim from the friggin' 20's washing s--t right now.

Jenni "JWOWW": I'm putting Vaseline on my face, taking my earrings out, putting my hair up, and I'm beating the crap out of her.

Sammi: I feel like…I don't know.
Snooki: I know exactly what you mean.

Angelina: If I hook up with one of youse, who gives a s--t?

Snooki: (to the redneck) Obviously he, like, f--ks his sister for a living.

Snooki: Eating fried pickles was a life changing experience.

Jenni "JWOWW": (mocking Angelina) 'I'm the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island'...with what ass? Pancake ass...

Vinny: My uncles want me to just come here and bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.

Snooki: I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

Emilio Antonio: How many meatballs do you want?
Snooki: I want two...in my face.