Jersey Shore Season 1 Episode 2

Angelina: I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.

Vinny: I hear the music, I start fist-pumping, I start dancing, I'm pulling girls on stage and now...Vinny came out to play.

Pauly D: Don't let the spike hair fool you, like I'm not a b---h.

Ronnie: The Ron-Ron Juice is the sh-- that gets the night going, I mean whenever that sh-- comes out it's always a filthy night.

Ronnie: That's what you get for putting a fat girl's ass in your face. (laughs) That's how you get pinkeye!

Ronnie: If it was just gonna get sloppy, I should have just pounded out what's her name on Friday night.

Snooki: Snooki's staying and I'm ready to party. I'm ready to meet sexy guidos and I'm ready just to f--king be single.

Mike "The Situation": I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.

Mike "The Situation": With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me, it's a matter of just when I decide.

Jenni "J-WOWW": I left the club early because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I felt like eating ham and drinkin' water. Ham.

Vinny: I don't give a f--k. You're fat, you're ugly, you're 45 years-old, I'll dance with you. It's hilarious, ya know what I mean?

Mike "The Situation": Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal.

Mike "The Situation": If you want to look somewhat like "The Situation," which is gonna be pretty hard, you need to get that protein in your diet.