Jim Rome is Burning

Season 1 Episode 22

January 14, 2004

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Aired Weekdays 4:30 PM Jan 14, 2004 on ESPN
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January 14, 2004
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It's not going to do anyone any good for me to sit here and go armchair quarterback and second guess those who have forgotten more than I'll ever know. Actually, it is. Let me start with Rams coach Mike Martz. With the ball on the Carolina 19, with 37 seconds to go and a timeout, how does this guy, of all guys, not go for the kill shot? Not even try to win the game? Martz let Carolina off the hook, they came back to win in OT and he will never live this down. The guy is an offensive coordinator; he can scheme with anyone, but he can't manage a game or be trusted to make good decisions under duress. And he proved it once again. Although his brain lock wasn't as egregious, I have to also ask what in the world was Packers coach Mike Sherman thinking Sunday? What was he doing punting the ball 4th and 1 from the Philly 41 and two a half minutes to go? You have one of the best backs in the game, Ahman Green, behind a good offensive line, against a team that hasn't stopped the run all year! And you punt? You're one yard away from being one game away from the Super Bowl. It's the playoffs! Go for the jugular. Finish it. When you play not to lose, you usually do. That was not only spineless, it was dumb as well. Let me see if I have this straight. Dan Marino couldn't win a championship as one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the game, but he is going to lead the dolphins to one as VP of football ops? Even though he as no experience doing it? Who are they going to beat to do it, the Detroit Lions and Matt Millen? Like Marino, Millen was a fiery competitor, a winner, and a leader and the Lions are still un-watchable. How is the Dolphin organization any better now than it was before the announcement? Marino has about as much business running this team as he does quarterbacking it right now. Then again considering who they have back there now, he'd be considered an upgrade. Don't tell me this is anything more than a PR move or that he's anything more than a figurehead. The story of the week had to be former Atlanta Brave Otis Nixon being arrested for pulling a knife on his body guard. Let me stop right there. Otis Nixon had a body guard? Why? Who wants a piece of Otis Nixon? He does know he's Otis Nixon, right? What, he can's step off a curb without being mobbed, because he's Otis Nixon? Do all the early '90's braves roll with muscle? Is Mark Lemke strapped because he's Mark Lemke? Does Lonnie Smith cruise in one of those Pope-mobiles? And I'm the last guy to bring one's personal appearance into a take, but how about that mug shot? He looks like he's about 80! What, did he buy a timeshare on the sun with Laffit Pincay? Rising, the Anaheim Angels who have had a truly sick off season, adding the best bat on the market, Vladimir Guerrero, the best arm , Bartolo Colon, as well as Jose Guillen and Kelvim Escobar. The Angels may have spent the last 40 plus years looking up at the Dodgers, but they just caught them and blew right by them. While LA was busy resigning Alex Cora and Robin Ventura the Angels pulled the biggest fish on the market right from under their noses. Legendary rock band Motley Crue kicked off its first ever US tour this week in 1984. Say what you want about the music, but there's never been a band like the Crue. The hair, the make up, the sex. The booze, the heroin, everything. Bassist Nikki Sixx, told me recently that if you didn't OD they kicked you out of the band. Of course, he also told me that drummer Tommy Lee's dad gave him permission to get with his wife if he could pull it off. No one hit it harder than the Crue. Except perhaps Ozzy Osbourne who toured with them once and snorted a line of ants off a popsicle stick. Which probably explains both he and his horrible children. A final thought on something I touched on in our year in review: Minnelli v. Gest. The androgynous Broadway producer was a no show in court as their divorce proceedings got underway. His lawyers said that he required 20 injections into his head as a result of the beat down Liza Minnelli laid on him. 20 injections into your dome? My man, you weren't hit by a truck, you were slapped around by a show tune singing wino. Shake yourself. Are you sure those shots weren't Botox instead of painkilling injections? What are you going to tell me next, that she tried to rip your hair plugs out also? Bro, rolling with Liza is one thing, getting rolled up by her is another. Stop it.,already.moreless

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