Jim Rome is Burning

Season 1 Episode 21

January 7, 2004

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Aired Weekdays 4:30 PM Jan 07, 2004 on ESPN
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January 7, 2004
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I am not buying Pete Rose's campaign to get reinstated and into the Hall of Fame. Great, after 14 years of lying about it, he finally admits to betting on baseball. So? That's news to anyone? Tell me something I didn't already know. And how much can his confession mean, if he's profiting from it. He's not trying to make things right, or undo a wrong, he's trying to get back in and sell some books. The problem is, he still doesn't get it. He still doesn't think he did anything wrong. He's not sorry for what he did to the sport, he's sorry that he got caught. A confession without an apology or any kind of genuine remorse or accountability is worthless. Even if he is savvy enough to change his message and feign contrition and remorse in the ensuing weeks, it still won't save him. If what he says in the next couple of weeks contradicts what he spent the last couple of years writing into a book, no one is going to buy it. Besides, does it really matter what he says at this point? Can you really believe anything from a guy who just spent 14 years lying to you? This is Rose's worst nightmare: he finally comes correct, admits he gambled on baseball, and handles the confession so poorly, the he loses the support he once had and Bud Selig stones him. Thanks for coming. And is there anything less credible in all of sports than the college football coaches poll? 37 coaches voted for USC before they punched Michigan in the mouth and because they were contractually obligated, 34 of them changed their vote to LSU afterwards?! What, did the Rose Bowl never happen? Did USC not dominate Michigan? I mean, I could have swore, I watched that game from beginning to end. I could have swore I saw John Navarre get sacked 9 times. Am I just making this up? As it turns out, BCS honks, the system doesn't work: it didn't do exactly what it was designed to do. In fact, it produced the very thing it was designed to prevent. A split championship. Well done. Dan Snyder hiring Joe Gibbs is absolutely brilliant. From Steve Spurrier, a guy who clowned those who sleep on cots in their office to the guy who actually invented the practice. Apparently hard work is a more valued commodity in the NFL than smugness. Of course the question now is, will the Dan stay the hell out of his Hall of Famer's way and let him do the job? Strange as it sounds, the answer is yes. Gibbs is far too old, too accomplished and too rich to accept anything less. Snyder couldn't have brought in anyone else, dead or alive who was better able to jumpstart his lifeless franchise than Joe Gibbs. He makes Steve Spurrier look like a ball boy. Amazingly, it's been ten years since Tonya Harding and her band of retards bounced a led pipe off Nancy Kerrigan's knee. What, actually practicing more or maybe admitting that Kerrigan was better weren't options? The only thing more incredible than that hair-brained scheme being concocted is that it actually came to fruition. And believe me if there was anyone in the room with an IQ above room temperature, it wouldn't have. Kerrigan went on to win the silver, started a family and gained induction into the US Skating Hall of Fame. Harding bounced a hubcap off a boyfriend's head, produced home made porn and now boxes professionally for a living. Hard to imagine how their life paths could have diverged so dramatically. Happy 10th anniversary. I can't wait until the 25th anniversary when Tonya presents Nancy with a gold plated lead pipe. Dennis Eckersly and Paul Molitor are on the rise, for getting into the Hall of Fame. And let me address the issue of whether or not Eck deserved to get in on the first try, really whether or not anyone is worthy of entry. If you have to make an argument for them, they're not. Letting a guy in because he's in the final year of eligibility is a joke also. One year you're not a Hall of Famer, the next year you are? How does that work? And that "He has the most homeruns, rbi, hits, wins, steals, sac bunts, sac flies, walks, errors, grounding into double plays, whatever, of any guy not in the Hall let him in" argument, is the worst of all. By that standard, eventually everyone gets in. It's the Hall of Fame, not the hall of very good. Falling, pop star Britney Spears who reportedly married a childhood friend in a Vegas chapel only to have the marriage annulled shortly thereafter. So, if she's not making out with her grandmother on awards shows, and getting naked for magazine covers, she getting blasted and then married in Vegas. Bad news, Brit. No drunken marriage or any other publicity stunt is going to slow your inevitable descent into stints on Celebrity Mole or the Surreal Life. Congratulations to the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, who has done the impossible; he's made Michael Jackson look like a good dad. You know Irwin; he's that nut who tried to feed his one month infant to a croc recently? Nice. Like a croc can tell the difference between an infant and a chicken. They just see meat. Or as one of my radio listeners put it: 'baby, the other white meat.' A defiant Irwin refused to apologize until TV executives threatened to rip his show. Memo to Irwin, Siegried and Roy and that California couple that thought it could live amongst the bears: The tigers, crocs and snakes aren't bothering anyone. Leave them alone. Good Crocodile Hunter, bad Dad.moreless
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