Joan of Arcadia Season 2 Episode 12

Grace: All guys are psycho. There has to be another way to procreate.

Helen: Joan, if you want to go to design school after college, I'm completely in favor. We won't pay, but I'm in favor.

Goth Kid God: Design. I like it. That's why I put it everywhere.

Luke: I thought you root for me, Grace?
Grace: I make out with you. I root for (Joan).

Joan: You want to tell me why you're here.
Goth Kid God: It's a guidance session. I'm all about guidance.

Joan: I always knew God was an underachiever.

God: It's because you see each event as an end in itself. But they're all just small parts of something much greater. Something that never ends.
Joan: You're very Matrix-y today.

Joan: Bottom-line, I'm not giving up. Luke, Friedman, the whole mess of them are going down.

Waiter: (to Kevin) Do you mind pulling in? This is the waiters' station.
Beth: Where do you expect him to go?!

Sammy: You schmutz it, you buy it.

Joan: Great. God is a pop-up ad. That's perfect.

Joan: Huh. I just used "autonomy" in a sentence.

Grace: Did you see how much he was sweating? I can't even get him to do that when we're alone.