Alice Orban (Quaker Girl)
Sergeant Toni Williams
The french horn player turned around and put Joan's music up the right way, i.e. not upside down. But later on we learn Joan used to play the piano when she was little. She would have known what side of the music was the up side, even for the percussion part.
While the Exchange Student God says "harmless pagan rituals," the closed captioning says "Balkan pagan rituals."
The outfits don't match up. Joan's outfits go from a blue cardigan to a red shirt over a purple long sleeve shirt, back to the blue cardigan and again to the red-over-purple. The scenes must have been reshot and edited.
Regarding when Joan broke the drum stick in her first band class: From the looks of it, the sticks she was given were probably Goodwoods, which are very strong, and very hard to break. And yet she broke them with only a few hits that weren't even that hard. This is impossible to do. Another thing, when drum sticks break, they don't snap in half, they splinter.
When Adam came over to Joan's house, close-captioning read "doorbell rings," but on the audio, he knocked on the door.
Regarding: Quaker Girl: "Quaker, like funny outfits, Richard Nixon" While in the past Quakers wore simple outfits, there is no "dress code" now, Quakers can wear whatever they want, Perhaps they are thinking about the Amish or conservative Mennonites.
Joan: Wait, what is this about?
Grace: Retribution, the oldest profession.
Joan: I thought that was farming.
Angela: What is wrong with you?
Angela: You made my personal and private thoughts a public spectacle.
Friedman: You mess with scientists, my friend, you're gonna get science.
(Angela tries to hit him)
Angela: You freak, I want to kill you!
Friedman: Le petite mort. The little death. I have some conversational French in my arsenal.
(Joan and Luke are trying to figure out how to work the washing machine)
Joan: Look, when I say go, I want you to hit the on button.
Luke: Uh, what's the on button look like?
Joan: I don't know. It should say "on."
Luke: Well, it doesn't. It says "whites" or "colors."
Joan: Uh, both.
Luke: There's not a "both" button.
(Joan accidentally sprained her ankle after getting it stuck in the washing machine)
Helen: Okay, Luke, what was your involvement?
Luke: I hit a button. It was scientifically unsound.
Helen: Huh! I don't want you people in my laundry room.
(Friedman shows Joan a copy of the "panty shot" picture and Joan, understandably, gets angry)
Joan: (picks up a pencil) Potential… (throws it at Friedman) kinetic!
Joan: (calling down to God in the corridor) Ha! You're the one who made us shamed to be naked!
(everyone starts to stare and laugh)
Joan: Ooh, I should stop doing that.
(The Girardis are talking about the fact that several of Helen's paintings are going to be displayed at the Franklin gallery)
Will: When's the opening?
Joan: Great! Ha! Maybe you should include nude portraits of the whole family, or better yet, a series of paintings entitled "My Daughter's Life: A Retrospective in humiliation."
(The rest of the family give her a strange look)
Helen: Are you okay, Joan?
Joan: No. Yes. Just... the usual. Heh. School's, you know… stuff.
Will: Am I going to Hell?
Helen: You don't believe in Hell.
Will: I believe in someplace… where you aren't.
Grace: Can I just say, I sort of pictured you as the matching bra and panties type?
Joan: You picture me in my panties?
Grace: Not 'til I saw the photo.
Joan: (answering the door) Adam. It's late.
Adam: It is?
Music Teacher: That was commendably fierce, but rhythmically challenged.
Quaker Girl: I can't hit back, so I play music.
Joan: Why can't you hit back?
Quaker Girl: I'm not allowed. I'm Quaker.
Joan: Oh. Wait, like oatmeal?
Luke: Joan, you're standing in the washing machine!
Lori: Go bang your drum.
Joan: Hey, yours is coming. It's only fair.
Lori: Give it your best shot.
Joan: (to band teacher) Do you have the "hitting" things?
Ms. Lischak: (playing with a yo-yo) What have we been talking about for the past five months people? What about energy? Potential. Kinetic. Potential. Kinetic.
(Friedman holds up a picture of the panty shot)
Joan: (holding pen) Potential. (throws pen at Friedman and hits him in the head) Kinetic.
Luke: Hey, guess what? Copernicus called, said the world doesn't revolve around you.
Joan: What a coincidence because the dork police called and said they want their leader back.
Kevin: It's official, I don't miss high school anymore.
Grace: Rove is against physical violence, but I overrode him.
Adam: Yeah, apparently it's like the UN, your vote counts for more.
Adam: Wow - this is the most awesome sandwich I have ever seen.
Helen: I don't believe in luck.
Will: That's all I believe in.
Helen: What are you – Chinese?
Joan: High school kids only read under duress.
Luke: And high school art students don't read at all.
Joan: You've never been to high school.
Exchange Student (God): You've never been to the Crusades.
Exchange Student God: Repeating myself is part of the job. "Vengeance is mine…" sayeth me.
Joan: Are you an exchange student?
Exchange Student God: You might say I'm in charge of the exchange program.
Joan: (to Luke) The dork police called and said they want their leader back.
Joan (referring to Iris): But you love her.
Adam I like her a lot.
Joan And you want me to like her too...
Adam No. (pause) But I want you to like me.
Joan Adam, I don't just like you...
Adam Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Adam: (to Joan) Are you talking about the panty shot? (notices Iris glaring) I deleted it, like, immediately!
Will: (looking at an art piece) It's a triangle attacking a circle? Well, maybe the circle's rude.
Will: (to Helen, about the art critic) You want me to shoot him? 'Cause I got my gun back.
Helen: (crying) Give me your gun, I'll shoot him myself!
Joan: You let (Helen) have red wine?
Will: I tried to steer her towards white.
Joan: Um...I'm Joan Girardi, um...I play percussion-ism...ist...
Joan: (to Iris) Do you have to talk? Do you have like an off switch?
Adam: She's joking.
Iris: Yeah. Ring, ring. That's my life calling.
Doctor God: You should really learn to avoid unnecessary pain.
Joan: You should really learn how to pick on a supreme being your own size.
Adam: Iris is a good person.
Joan: I know. It's just that… her voice… drives me crazy.
Adam: It's her real voice. (laughing) It drives me crazy too.
Iris: You stood up for someone in gym class? That's like the front lines – kudos! Rave on!
Joan: Is English like a second language for you?
Doctor God: I don't punish you, you punish yourselves. You're so good at it I could almost retire.
Joan: Huh, why don't you?
Doctor God: I like my work.
Christopher Marquette was billed as a "Special Guest Star."
Music featured in this episode included:
"Can't Go On" by Nick Nolan
"Days Are Like" by Reed Foehl
"Miles Away" by Jennie Devoe
"Intermezzo" by Schumann
"Asta Loca" by Sean Demis
"Something Unspoken" by Lennie Gallant
"Maze" by 4 Way Street
"It's All In You Mind" by Beck
New Gods: Nigerian Doctor God, Locksmith God, and Exchange Student God.
Joan: Gee, thanks Ringo!
Ringo Starr was the drummer for the musical band, The Beatles.
Joan: Great - I'm Tiny Tim.
Referencing the crippled Tim Cratchit of most versions of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
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