Johnny Broadway: Elizabeth, this isn't about your aunt – it's about THE PROCESS!!
Helen: (seeing what Will is reading) My catechism book?
Will: I feel like I just got caught with porn.
Grace: I'd love to... I just gotta go... jab a railroad spike into my head.
Glynis: So why don't you do everyone a favor and take the giant stick out of your butt!
Grace: You are way more intense than I ever knew.
Johnny Broadway God: Nothing of value comes without a little struggle. Some of the most beautiful flowers in the world only grow after a forest fire. Literally out of the ashes, they blanket the ground with color.
Joan: Yeah, but you could make that happen without the fire. People would like you more.
Johnny Broadway God: They'd just find something else to blame me for.
Will: Remember, it's just a school play. No crying.
Helen: It was one time. And (Joan) was dressed like a daisy. I couldn't help it.
Joan: You're jealous! It happens to everybody. Othello, the green-eyed monster. Remember?
Grace: Yeah, well, I hate it. It's like I'm a girl.
Joan: You're not serious?
Gay Male Secretary God: I'm always serious. Which doesn't mean I'm not fun.
Adam: Oberlin? Isn't that in the middle of a cornfield? I mean, what are we gonna do--shoot squirrels and join a militia?
Elizabeth: My therapist says that with a voice like mine, I need to work on humility.
Female Custodian God: Don't you just love the theater? People finding joy in creating whole new worlds. (chuckles) Couldn't keep that one to myself.
Joan: Even God can't bring back the word "nifty."
Female Custodian God: Don't tempt me...
Will: I thought you had classes all day.
Helen: They give us lunch. It's a new union rule.
Gay Male Secretary God: Singing, dancing, zombies, oh my!
Luke: It was like watching 'Fear Factor'...
Referencing the popular reality-TV show Fear Factor, where people do stupid stunts for big money.
Elizabeth: It wasn't like this in Godspell...
Referencing the 1971 musical Godspell by Stephen Schwartz relating the last days of Jesus as told by a troupe of hippies. Based on the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, it was adapted as a movie in 1973.
Friedman: He was in Rent...
Referencing the Tony-winning AIDS-centric rock 1993 musical Rent about roommates in an apartment in the East Village of New York City.
Grace: It's like Captain Kirk getting it on with a hot alien.
Captain Kirk was a character on the old series Star Trek. Incidentally, Becky Wahlstrom, who portrays Grace, also appeared on Star Trek: Enterprise as Cogenitor.