Joan of Arcadia

Season 1 Episode 13


Aired Friday 8:00 PM Jan 16, 2004 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • In this episode Joan says she's not ready to "couple", yet in an earlier episode Joan complains to God that he's never told her to get a boyfriend for an assignment.

    • A day or two spa stay like the Girardi kids buy their parents cost hundreds of dollars, up to almost a thousand depending on different things. How'd the kids put together that kind of money, particularly since we keep hearing on how the family is having financial problems?

  • Quotes

    • (Luke, Grace, Friedman and Glynis are looking through one of the Girardis' photo albums)
      Friedman: Oh, man. Here's Luke in a little Dalmatian outfit.
      Glynis: Oh! Look at his little ears!
      Luke: It was Halloween. I was 3! Put that away--
      (He tries to take the album off Friedman but he fights back)
      Grace: Hey, let me see.
      Glynis: The color palette suits you.
      Friedman: Dude, your sister's, like, naked.
      Luke: She's a baby!

    • Adam: (to Joan, at the party) You wanna dance?
      Joan: Adam, I can't I'm at a party! (leaves)
      Adam: Just thought I'd ask.

    • Joan: We've been thinking…
      Will: That's a dangerous proposition.

    • Joan: In case you haven't noticed, we are not cool.
      Luke: I thought you were cool.
      Joan: No, I'm not.

    • Grace: It's like a Druid solstice ritual without the viscera.
      Luke: Stick around. The night's still young.
      (awkward silence)
      Grace: I need salt.

    • Joan: You learned how to cook in AP chem… all I learned is how to make soap.
      Kevin: Like you're doing now.

    • Helen: I think I'll sign us both up for the native American (spa) treatment.
      Will: What's that? They gently drag us through the sand by our hair until our skin is flayed, and then later we're gently reassigned to gambling casinos in Arizona.

    • Joan: (talking to Adam after the party) Hey… you wanna dance?

    • Toni: I'm Srg. Toni Williams. We received a noise complaint. I think it's about time to break things up.
      Joan: Thank God! (to the partiers) Everybody the police are here! Time to get out! Come on! Clear out! (back to Toni) Thank you for that.

    • Joan: Why are you mad at me?
      Adam: I don't know. Maybe I'm bad at stuff like this. But we kissed. It's not exactly like I've kissed a lot of girls. Maybe I've only kissed one.
      Joan: Right.
      Adam: Well, maybe it meant something to me.
      Joan: Maybe it meant something to me too.

    • Adam: Well, maybe it's like that anti-drug guy says. Romantic love. It's like a mental illness. It just happens, you know, and then what are you going to do?

    • Joan: (to God) Shouldn't you be a better dancer? (doorbell rings) Excuse me, your all-mightiness.

    • Joan: (about the party) Do these things ever end?
      Adam: Eventually, people...pass out.

    • Cute Boy God: Adam is confused.
      Joan: Adam is always confused.
      Cute Boy God: Okay, well, you're introducing new levels of confusion.

    • Will: (about loud guy at the spa) Do I really need to hear about his colon crisis?
      Helen: Will!
      Will: He's talking about his ass in public!

    • Liquor Store Clerk God: Joan, you did invite Adam?
      Joan: Sure.
      Liquor Store Clerk God: And he realizes you're inviting him?
      Joan: As in a date?
      Liquor Store Clerk God: Figure it out.
      Luke: I'm sorry, he's approving your guest list?

    • Kevin: (to Rebecca) But what if I just want to kiss you?
      Rebecca: You'll have to catch me.
      Kevin: I'm in good shape.

    • Grace: (Referring to Adam) I've know the dude since preschool. He's stupid about you.

    • Helen: And, I think this goes without saying, no parties.
      Kevin: I've already covered this; they are very unpopular.
      Helen: Oh, good. Uh, really?

    • Will: (about the spa) I wonder if the sound of ringing up our credit card will be too much for them.

    • Luke: No one ever listens to me, and yet I talk.

    • Joan: You invented drugs, didn't you?
      Dr. Halliwell God: I invented rattlesnakes. Doesn't mean I want you playing around with them.

    • Joan: Look at us, rocket boy (referring to Luke) and subdefective. Who are we gonna invite to a party?

    • Kevin: Pancakes, Joan, not panbricks.

    • Joan: Let's go. We're not buying anything from here. Master of the universe here carded me.

    • Glynnis: (after seeing a picture of Luke dressed up as a dalmatian when he was three) The color palette suits you.

    • Luke: Hey! That is my dad's Italian salami that he has it flown in from like New Jersey

    • (Adam's upset with Joan)
      Joan: Uh...are you OK?
      Adam: Yeah, Joan, I'm fine.
      Joan: I liked it better when you called me Jane.
      Adman: Those days are over.

    • Adam: What about us?
      Joan: What about us?
      Adam: What about us?
      Joan: What about us?
      Adam: What about us?
      Joan: Is it just me or is this going nowhere?

    • Luke: (To Grace) Can you help here?
      Grace: Apparently not.

    • Joan: God smokes?
      Liquor Store Clerk God: I don't inhale.

    • Helen: (to Will, about the weekend away) Strip Scrabble?
      Joan: OVER-sharing!

    • Luke: Enjoy your body treatments.
      Will: Nobody's getting wrapped!
      Helen: I might!

    • Spa Manager: Violence offends us.
      Will: It offends me too, which is why I won't give up my weapon!

    • Joan: See, nobody thinks of you as fun.
      Dr. Halliwell God: And that's the problem.

    • Will: "The Dead Sea Mud Wrap: Your body will be gently dry-brushed to eliminate surface toxins and to exfoliate dead skin cells. Then you are wrapped in a warm mixture of mud, essential oils and seaweed." This sounds like something I would pay to avoid.

    • Grace: (about Joan's baby pictures) Impressive use of fat.

  • Notes

    • All of the photos of Luke as a child are actual photographs of Michael Welch when he was younger.

    • This episode marks the first appearance of Detective Carlisle (Mark Totty) on the series.

    • Jay Thomas (Elliot) also played the recurring character, Eddie LeBec, one of Carla Tortelli's (many) husbands in Cheers which starred Mary Steenburgen's real life husband, Ted Danson.

    • There's a huge amount of discrepancy between what the announcer is saying about the crackhouse explosion (when Will is watching the TV at the spa) and what the closed-captioning says. The closed captioning specifically drives home that the police would have died if they'd gone in - the actual dialogue doesn't say any such thing.

    • Jay Thomas and David Clennon are billed as a "Special Guest Star."

    • Music featured in this episode included:
      "Crash Goes My World" by Cadence Grace
      "Sleeping Sound" by Scarboro Aquarium Club
      "Buddhamatic" by Hennessey
      "Lazy Breezes" by Jeff Lingle
      "Crystaline Bliss" by Jeff Lingle
      "Don't Leave Me" by The All-American Rejects
      "Be The One" by Will Hoge
      "What's Your Name" by Morcheeba featuring Big Daddy Kane
      "Don't Walk Away Eileen" by Sam Roberts
      "2 Become 1" by Jewel
      "Tell Me" by Andrea Martin

    • New Gods: Dr. Halliwell God, Liquor Store Clerk God, and Nerdy Boy God.

  • Allusions

    • Liquor Store Clerk God: I don't inhale.

      Echoes President Bill Clinton's famous response when asked about using marijuana.

    • Luke: I'm more responsible than Margaret Thatcher.

      Margaret Thatcher is a former Prime Minister of Great Britian. She often had a reputation of being pious, or straightforward.

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