Joan of Arcadia

Season 1 Episode 2

The Fire and the Wood

Aired Friday 8:00 PM Oct 03, 2003 on CBS
out of 10
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Episode Summary

The Fire and the Wood
Joan enrolls in advanced-placement chemistry, after God asks her to stop being an underachiever; Will ruffles feathers during an arson investigation.

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  • It was just awesome

    So this show is about a girl who tlaks to God and lets face it... it sounds very religious like... but it is not. In this episode... God tells Joan to go in AP Chem... she begs the principle to let her in and finally she did... because she said she wanted to do better... no wshe's classmates with her brother and she sits besides two people. Grace and Adam... when you look at them they seem like weirdos but they have their own history and stuff... They ahve a group project in Joan's house and they manage to finish it.moreless
Roark Critchlow

Roark Critchlow

TV Anchorman God

Guest Star

David Grammer

David Grammer

Carl Rove

Guest Star

Garrett Runck

Garrett Runck

Rumpled Boy

Guest Star

Juliette Goglia

Juliette Goglia

Little Girl God

Recurring Role

Barbara Evans

Barbara Evans


Recurring Role

Elaine Hendrix

Elaine Hendrix

Ms. Lischak

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • Adam tells Grace and Joan that the chemical equation for cellulose (twigs) is C6 H12 O6 but that is the chemical equation for sugar. Adam was close for cellulose, it's a polymer made up of glucose (sugar) molecules. The right molecular formula is (C6H10O5)n.

    • God's plan as he explains it doesn't make sense. Will met Adam as he got home from his party. Then Will went to bed and Roebuck shows up with his report a few hours later that same night. But God says his plan was that Will would be nice with Adam's father the night janitor because their kids were friends, which would lead to Roebuck's brother-in-law who would encourage Roebuck to get the report to Will. How did all that happen between when Will got home and met Adam, and a few hours later when Roebuck showed up? Seems like at least a day would have gone by for all that to happen, and it didn't.

    • In this episode Grace and Adam appear to not know much about each other, but we later find out they have been best friends since pre-school.

  • QUOTES (24)

    • Helen: Good, you're awake.
      Kevin: Half awake anyway. The other half is still sound asleep. (starts poking at his legs) Wake up, you lazy bastards. It's morning.

    • (Joan and Luke see Adam on the ground behind a garbage truck)
      Joan: Who's the reject?
      Luke: Adam Rove. Huge stoner. Hey, maybe he'll be your friend!
      Joan: What is he doing?
      Luke: Looking for lost brain cells?

    • God: Just because I speak doesn't mean anyone has to listen.
      Joan: Really?
      God: Yeah. Free Will is actually one of my better innovations. I give suggestions, not assignments.
      Joan: I feel a suggestion coming on.
      God: Stop squandering the potential I gave you... Stop underachieving... Have some pride...
      Joan: Wait. In what? In school?
      God: School's a start, yeah. Stand back (starts streetcleaner).
      Joan: Pride? What happened to humility?
      God: Humility isn't actually humility, unless you're good enough at something to be humble.

    • (Joan hands Adam his school bag, where inside are metal pieces he uses for his art)
      Adam: (to Joan, referring to the art piece in front of him) Thanks for bringing these things back for the...thing.

    • Will: (after meeting Adam and Grace) These are Joan's new friends? A person of mysterious gender and space boy?

    • Adam: Well, nice work Jane.
      (He leaves. Helen seems amused and looks at Joan)
      Joan: He calls me "Jane" sometimes when he forgets that my name is Joan.

    • Will: We just passed an extremely rude boy outside.
      Helen: No, that wasn't a boy. That was Grace Polk.

    • Mr. Price: If I even suspect that you are under the influence of drugs what will happen?
      Adam: You'll urine test me.
      Mr. Price: For your own good.
      Adam: And call the cops.
      Mr. Price: Uh...huh.
      Adam: Ruin my life.
      Mr. Price: All for your own good.

    • (the previous night God had appeared on TV and Joan's father turned off the TV)
      God: Joan, you want proof? When you're all alone you practice French kissing in the mirror.
      Joan: Shhhh. Why do you have to be so mean? Oh, and by the way, the other night, it was my father that turned you off, not me.
      God: Oh, okay. He shall burn for eternity in Hell.
      Joan: What? No, he's a nice guy and he didn't mean it...
      God: I'm just kidding - where do you people get this stuff?

    • Adam: I talk to angels. (Joan stares at him) Relax, Jane, it's a metaphor.
      Joan: What would you do if you really did talk to angels?
      Adam: Keep my mouth shut.

    • Joan: Don't you have any friends that you could walk to school with?
      Luke: Don't worry they'll think I'm cool stylin with my big sister. Oh wait you're worried that one of your friends will see us together... Oh, wait a minute, you don't have any friends.
      Joan: And ironically you're still cramping my style.

    • Adam: Dude, are you smart?
      Grace: Just because I rebuke to the whole "formal schooling equals knowledge" crap doesn't mean I'm stupid.

    • Joan: So, what do we do first?
      Grace: Ask your brother for the answer.

    • Adam: I have an eidetic memory.
      Joan: What's that?
      Luke: Photographic.
      Grace: (referring to Adam) He can barely remember his name.

    • Joan: Well, did we get it right?
      Luke: It's like watching three monkeys build a particle accelerator out of tinfoil and a BB gun.

    • Helen: (to a late student) What is the reason for your tardiness?
      Grace: Take a guess. He's still in his jammies.

    • Luke: (about the one nice thing he did that day) I didn't laugh when Joan was introduced to my AP chem class.

    • Joan: God.
      Electrician God: Yes?
      Joan: No, I was taking your name in vain, to be technical. Sorry.

    • Joan: So my true nature is I'm a catalyst? That's mad anticlimatic.
      Electrician God: Anticlimactic. 'Anticlimatic' means you're...against the weather.

    • Electrician God: Okay, newsflash, don't need to let me in on your thinking process. I'm omniscient.

    • Grace: What burns is the gas released when the wood gets hot. Therefore the reaction would have to be gasification through oxidation reduction, then combustion.
      Luke: It is so hot that you know that.

    • Little Girl God: You'd like to give me a slap, wouldn't you?
      Joan: Yeah...but you're so cute.
      Little Girl God: By the way, as an instrument of Me, have some pride. Do better. Do your best.
      Joan: Now I'd like to slap you.

    • Little Girl God: I put a lot of thought into the universe. I came up with the rules. It sets a bad example if I break them. Not to mention, it shows favouritism. Why should one person get a miracle, and not everybody else?

    • Electrician God: Look, you won't always know why I ask you to do things. You won't always see the effects. Just think about what you learned in AP Chemistry.
      Joan: I didn't learn anything. I got the others to do it.
      Electrician God: The smallest catalyst can set off mind-boggling chain-reactions. One time, I said, 'Let there be light'.. all hell broke loose, figuratively speaking.

  • NOTES (6)


    • TV Movie
      The movie that is on TV when Joan is trying to find God through it, in the beginning of the episode, is 1939 Frank Capra's Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, starring Jimmy Stewart and Claude Raines.

    • Adam: Cha, fo shizzle, my nizzle.
      Adam's unusual quote is from an unusual speech pattern created by Snoop Dogg, one of the premiere music rappers of the time. It was popularized on his MTV show, Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. It's also pretty bad form for a white guy to use the term "nizzle", it being a variant on the "N" word. White people are supposed to use bizzle or sizzle (brother or sister) instead.

    • Grace: And Rain Man's back to underpants.
      Grace is comparing Adam to Dustin Hoffman's autistic character, Raymond Babbitt, in the movie Rain Man.