Joe Millionaire

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FOX (ended 2003)

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Episode Guide

  • Season 2
    • Episode 10
      Episode 10
      Episode 10
      11/24/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-10
      Episode 2-10
      Episode 10
      11/24/03
      6.3
      It feels like just yesterday that we met David Smith, Fox's new Joe Millionaire, and his bevy of European ladies, but it's time already for the finale. Paul, with his usual glass of brandy in his hand, tells us that David has narrowed his search to two women: Linda, who "got back in at the end of the race," and Cat, who "survived the entire marathon." David will not only have to choose between the two ladies, but will have to tell one of them that he doesn't really have eighty million dollars.moreless
    • Episode 2-9
      Episode 2-9
      Episode 9
      11/24/03
      5.1
      It feels like just yesterday that we met David Smith, Fox's new Joe Millionaire, and his bevy of European ladies, but it's time already for the finale. Paul, with his usual glass of brandy in his hand, tells us that David has narrowed his search to two women: Linda, who "got back in at the end of the race," and Cat, who "survived the entire marathon." David will not only have to choose between the two ladies, but will have to tell one of them that he doesn't really have eighty million dollars. Let's get to it!moreless
    • Episode 9
      Episode 9
      Episode 9
      11/24/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-8
      Episode 2-8
      Episode 8
      11/17/03
      4.2
      Petra and Cat are alone in the house. Since the two of them weren't getting along very well in part one of the episode, it's an uncomfortable dynamic.
    • Episode 8
      Episode 8
      Episode 8
      11/17/03
      0.0
    • Episode 7
      Episode 7
      Episode 7
      11/17/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-7
      Episode 2-7
      Episode 7
      11/17/03
      4.4
      Last week on The Next Joe Millionaire, Kristyna and Giada got booted, Olinda was mean to Cat, got booted. Paul welcomes us back to this week's episode. He promises us "jet set dates" to help David ascertain which women are there for him and which are there for his money. Paul also says that the makers of the show were surprised when one of the eliminated women asked for a second chance with David. Because they love the twists and turns, they agreed.moreless
    • Episode 6
      Episode 6
      Episode 6
      11/24/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-6
      Episode 2-6
      Episode 6
      11/10/03
      2.7
      When we left our friends on The Next Joe Millionaire, David had just eliminated Giada and Kristyna. Giada, in spite of her threats, did not explode. Paul announced that David and his final four women—Olinda, Cat, Petra, and Anique—would be headed to Rome for more individual dates.
    • Episode 5
      Episode 5
      Episode 5
      11/17/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-5
      Episode 2-5
      Episode 5
      11/10/03
      5.4
      The charming and delightful Paul Hogan welcomes us to The Next Joe Millionaire. As he sips his brandy, he reminds us that last week, several of the women did not enjoy the country life of their ranch date. This week, it's back to the city. Please feel free to make your own Green Acres joke here. Tonight, David and the women will go to Florence for individual dates. Paul asks, "Is it the money or his charm that fuels the competition?"moreless
    • Episode 4
      Episode 4
      Episode 4
      11/10/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-4
      Episode 2-4
      Episode 4
      11/3/03
      6.4
      The show starts, as always, with my man Paul Hogan drinking a brandy and musing over David's latest dates. Paul says that David so far has been "a fish out of water," but that this week, the women will have to adapt to David's environment when they take a trip to a ranch. Which of the women will fit into David's world?moreless
    • Episode 3
    • Episode 2-3
      Episode 2-3
      Episode 3
      10/28/03
      3.6
      After the fallout of three ladies leaving, the show picks up again and it's time for David to start dating the rest.

      The morning after the kickoff, the girls were still slightly in shock. The women also talked about how they liked the necklaces, but they weren't all that great. The women were still wondering more about David though. What does he do? What's he like? Etc…

      Paul then told David that when he goes out with the women, that it's imperative to keep his stories straight because these European women will be asking him a lot more questions than American women would.

      Paul then told the women that David was going to take Kristyna, Giada and Olinda on a group date. And that the other women would all be going on group dates with David over the next few days.

      David took the girls to Montecatini Alto, Italy for pottery lessons. David thought it would be a great idea to get to know the girls in a relaxing environment.

      The women were still skeptical of David flying out his horse, but he was finally able to dissuade them otherwise. David and the girls made clay pots and he was very surprised how quickly the girls turned the lesson into something sexual.

      David then took them to dinner and got some alone time with Giada. The women were taken slightly aback was when David said grace. Giada thought it was nice, but the other women were a little surprised.

      David was again going through a crisis of conscience, but the next day had to take another group of ladies on a group date. His second date was with Anique, Tereza, Cat and Lina.

      The date was bike riding around the walls of the City of Lucca. The women arrived and David was hoping for fewer questions, but unlikely. David brought them to a picnic area for lunch and the barrage of questions began.

      The women quizzed him on his finances, his horse, his family, etc. David was totally flustered but seemed to handle himself. His only problem was going to be remembering what he said later on.

      The next date, Alessia, Karolina, Petra, Linda went with David to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The women really liked the date and were clearly growing on David more and more. David then took the women to a hotel dinner that overlooked the city and said he was looking forward to going on more dates with them.

      When all the women got back together they discussed David. One of their major issues was David being religious and saying grace at meals. Most of the women are not religious.

      The next morning, the women were lounging at the pool and Samantha told them that there would be another elimination. The women, especially Olinda and Cat starting complaining about each other.

      That night, Paul brought the ladies together and they were all very nervous about leaving. Samantha then entered and told them that two more ladies would be going home. She told them that David was giving the remaining ladies sapphire necklaces as a token of his desire to have them stay.

      David decided to kick off Tereza and Karolina but said he regretted keeping Anique because she was so cold after he gave her a necklace. David said he hated kicking anyone off because it was "like kicking one of [his] buddies off of the truck."

      He eliminated Tereza because she was the first to ask about his money. He also eliminated Karolina because he didn't want there to be a conflict with Linda who is her close friend.moreless
    • Episode 2-2
      Episode 2-2
      Episode 2
      10/27/03
      4.8
      When we left off last, we met all the girls, we met our new Joe, or David if you will. And we've ventured into the Tuscan Villa. Now it's time to find out what the girls' true motivations may be. It should be really interesting.

      The girls initially felt sorry for David because of how shy he came across. Plus, the women suddenly became very pro cowboy. David said all the girls were extremely beautiful.

      After the meet and greet, David invited the women to a ball. All the women took the rest of the day to prepare and dress and primp, etc.

      David said he wanted to make a good first impression. It's important because he needed to sell the fact that he has money. But he also said he doesn't want to come across as cocky. David was even more nervous about telling the girls that some of them will be going home.

      At the ball, David waited patiently for the women to arrive. David said that everything he's done so far was leading up to that moment.

      Paul escorted all the women out and his first impressions were that Lina was out for money, Olinda was cute but very nervous and that "Czech chicks are beautiful!"

      David said he was overwhelmed, but so far so good.

      David then mingled with all the women at the same time. The women asked him tons of questions, but David slipped up when he said he flew his horse out from Texas.

      David then danced with all the women and was very glad Paul made him take lessons.

      Paul then escorted David out of the room and Samantha entered to tell the ladies that three of the ladies would be leaving that night. The girls were in shock at the revelation while David deliberated with Paul back in the Villa.

      David ended up kicking off Johanna, Jerusha and Yassmin. He said he may regret picking Lina though because of her arrogance.moreless
    • Episode 2
      Episode 2
      Episode 2
      10/27/03
      0.0
    • Episode 1
      Episode 1
      Episode 1
      10/20/03
      0.0
    • Episode 2-1
      Episode 2-1
      Episode 1
      10/20/03
      3.3
      Joe Millionaire a.k.a. David Smith, 24, earns $11,000 a year as a rodeo cowboy in Texas. Fourteen European women, from 5 different countries, vying for his attention (and fake $80 million oil fortune) don't meet him until the very end of the episode. However, the time leading up to that was still worth watching. If possible, these women appear to be cattier and more materialistic than the ladies from the original J.M. David is flown to a gorgeous villa in the Italian countryside and given a crash course by Paul, everyone's favorite butler, in European geography and greetings in the ladies' native languages. The women party it up (drinking so much champagne their first night Paul has to order more) in their anticipation to meet him and are, shall we say, disappointed when they find out he's a cowboy. Paul's observation that European women seem to like a wealthy man as much as American women is dead-on. That QUICKLY changes when they hear about his fortune. All in all, it looks like this next installment will be as entertaining as its predecessor.

      We get a little background info on David and what he does in Texas. He rides in rodeos and says that it's not easy finding a woman willing to be with someone who's always on the road and earns only $11,000 a year. The "buckle-bunnies" (cowgirls) are ok, but he likes someone a little more feminine. He seems to come from a close family and his relatives have plenty of positive things to say about him.

      David arrives at the villa that's supposedly his and is greeted at the door by Paul. He gets a tour of the house, to become familiar with it and to feel more at home. Paul gives David a few lessons to help polish him up for the ladies. He keeps calling Paul "sir", which he has to break because he's supposed to be Paul's boss. Paul points out to David on a big map all the different countries the ladies are from. He tells him the capital of each and how to say hello in their different languages. This made for some humor as David asks him "Where's Dutch again?" confusing Holland's name with the language they speak. David comments "that's where they wear the wooden shoes." Paul teaches him to say hello and goodbye in Italian: Ciao. Paul asks him to repeat what ciao means, and David's guess is food. David doesn't seem to catch on too quickly. He keeps calling Paul "sir" and language isn't exactly his forte.

      We move from David's gentlemen lessons to the women at a spa where they have been waiting. Let's get one thing out of the way. These women are GOLD-DIGGERS. There's no two ways around it. They like money and aren't afraid to admit it. At least they're honest. They talk about what they think David will look like and there were some pretty random guesses: Keanu Reeves, Lenny Kravitz and James Bond. These women better not have their hopes pinned on those images. One woman was more dead-on with her mental picture of him: muscular, blonde and tan.

      The girls are brought to the villa in a manner suited for a princess and they LOVE it. They arrive in twos by horse drawn carriage. The first girls to arrive at the villa are Alessia and Kristyna. They're followed by Jerusha and Karolina, Anique and Yassmin, and Linda and Johanna.

      Samantha Harris, replacing Alex McCloud this year as hostess, greets them at the entrance along with all the staff working at the villa.

      The women continue to arrive by twos, with Caterina (Cat) and Giada arriving next. Followed by Tereza and Lina and finally Olinda and Petra.

      The women are then brought to a large seating area of the Villa where Samantha fills them in on David. She tells them that David is a cowboy and the women completely throw their noses up in the air and begin to make fun. They clearly thought a cowboy was beneath them and that it was a joke. Samantha tells them that his family is in oil and his uncle set up a trust for him that has matured and is valued at $80 million. That's all these women needed to hear. The 14 gold-diggers became wannabe cowgirls in 5 seconds flat. They danced to banjo music and everything. Before you know it, the champagne is flowing and Paul has to keep popping bottles. The women, unaware that they would be awakened bright and early the next morning, all had too much to drink. When Paul wakes them up for breakfast, there are various complaints of headaches and a few girls asking for their sunglasses.

      The cook and maids are hilarious. I think they just might add a little more of the comic observations we're used to getting from Paul. They talk about how much the girls drank and mention that Paul had to order more champagne because the women drank so much they're first night. The Euro-girls spend the day complaining about everything. They complain about being hungover and waking up super early. They complain about Texas and cowboys. Mind you, most of them didn't even know exactly what a cowboy does. But it was funny listening to them trying to guess and explain it to each other. Olinda, who in my opinion looks like a young Debbie Harry, did know what a cowboy was from going to a rodeo in Spain, and she admitted it takes a lot of strength and isn't as easy as it looks. What strikes just about anyone who watches is that these women criticize David without even meeting him, but have no qualms about lounging in a pool they think is his or staying in a villa they think he owns. This group of women is very…special.

      While the women lounge around, David finds out he'll be meeting the girls the following day and will arrive at the villa on horseback. He was SO excited about picking his own horse that he wasn't able to sleep at night. It wasn't the thought of all the women who would definitely be throwing themselves at him that kept him up, it was the thought of picking a horse. I guess you can take the cowboy out of the rodeo…He picks a beautiful palomino named Hurricane.

      Fox leads us to believe the women did nothing again the entire day (they probably didn't) and again we go to the cork popping. These girls can DRINK! Nothing as small as a hangover kept anyone from drinking again. Paul was shocked and thought that the hangovers and early wake-up would have taught them a lesson, but apparently he was wrong.

      The next morning the women are awakened bright and early yet and again, and some of them actually refuse to get up. They wanted to sleep in and weren't happy that they had to wake up early for the 2nd day in a row. Eventually, everyone makes it to breakfast (hungover) and Paul tells them David will finally be stopping by before the evening's planned event. We aren't told what it is, but we know they will finally get to meet one on one. He will be arriving at noon and the girls spend the rest of the morning getting ready. For someone they spent 2 days making fun of, they REALLY want to make a good first impression on him. I wonder why…

      The women stand outside the villa for what seems like an eternity for David to arrive, and we finally see him ride up the path to the villa on Hurricane. David's introduction is a little awkward. You can tell he really hadn't thought of what to say, but he was sweet and his nervousness was a little charming. He was very accommodating with the ladies and told them if they needed absolutely anything, to let him know and he would see that they got it. He tells them he looks forward to seeing them that evening and leaves. All of a sudden the cowboy jokes stop. Seeing what they think is a young, handsome millionaire, the women talk about his bright smile, his good looks and how nice he seemed.moreless
  • Season 1
Thursday
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Friday
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Saturday
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