Joey

Joey: What's more important, your space or your mother's happiness? Michael: My space. And I had to pretend to think about it.

Bobbie: Look, you are screwing up your career! You don't show up for an audition, you scream at a casting director... Joey: Well, the only reason I did that is cause he's deaf. Bobbie: Who told you that? Joey: This actor. I see him at all my auditions. He gives me pointers. Bobbie: Oh, wait a second. Is he the reason why you went into an audition, you threw away your script and you start barking? Joey: Yeah. Did I get that part? Bobbie: Oh, Joey, he's messing with your head. Joey: What? Bobbie: Yeah, your little friend is shoving crap up your pooper. Joey... you're such a sweet, naive guy. But you can't let people take advantage of you. Joey: I really liked him. I can't believe this. Bobbie: I can't believe they take the fat out of my ass and put it in my lips, but they do.

Joey: Look, Gina, I know Michael's sick. But this is my apartment. I need some space. Gina: Look, why don't you just go to my place? You can stay there till he gets better. Joey: I don't wanna do that. Gina: There's lasagna in the fridge and I have Cinemax. Joey: Get me the keys!

Brian: I'm Brian Michael David Scott. Joey: That's a lot of names... Brian: I'm a lot of actor...

Joey: There are a lot of people here for such a small part. Actor: There are no small parts, only small actors. Joey: Do you mean children?

Joey: Yeah, she's not going anywhere. How are you feeling? Michael: Not great! But, everything's gonna be fine tomorrow. Joey: How do you figure? Michael: Oh, if she doesn't leave by then, I'm gonna kill myself.

Joey: What did you want to see me about? Bobbie: I wanted to explain to you how the business works. See - you book a job and I get 10%. Do you know what 10% of zero is? Joey: (counting) 6 goes into 40... Bobbie: (interrupts him) God! I have never wanted to slap you more!

Bobbie (talking to her mother): Yeah, well, mother, I don't understand what you're so upset about. So they are gonna remove your uterus. What do you need it for?

Joey: Hey Gina, look, you've been here for a couple of days now without a break. Why don't you let me take one? Go and have a little Gina-time? Gina: I don't have Gina-time anymore. I'm a mother. I don't go out, I don't go on dates, I don't have fun. I don't do anything for myself anymore. Joey: (points to Gina's breasts) So you got those for Michael?

Michael: Why is there writing all over everything? (he points to Joey's stuff from Days of our Lives) Joey: Oh, that's dialogue! I used the props as cheat-sheets when I had to remember difficult medical jargon. Michael (he reads): "Hi! I'm Dr. Ramoray!" Joey: That took 20 takes.

Joey: When I left Days of our Lives, I took a whole box of stuff. Gina: They just let you take all of those stuff? Joey: When you shove it down your pants, they don't seem to mind.