Johnny: (Walking around town with a "Carl is my Best Friend!" sign) Carl is my best friend! He is so smart and nice and a really snappy dresser. I like Carl very much.
(Johnny leans down and talks to a man in a car)
Johnny: Excuse me Mr. motorist, would you run me over with your vehicle. Really, you'd be doing me a favor.
Carl: I don't hear you Johnny.
Johnny: Right. Carl is so great. He is the sun and we are the planets. He has a very pleasant singing voice.
(Johnny talks to a man with a jackhammer)
Johnny: Excuse me Mr. Construction worker, would you please bury me alive. I'll give you a dollar.
Carl: You forgot to mention that I'm an excellent conversationalist.
Johnny: I don't get it Carl. We've been doing this for hours, shouldn't you be dead by now?
Carl: Any minute now. In the mean time, keep proclaiming your devotion to me!
Johnny: Do I have to?
Carl: Oh the tunnel! I see the tunnel!
Johnny: C is for the coolest guy I know! A is for the awful way I treat him!
R is for his really neat bug collection! L is for (Johnny starts crying) the love for humanity! Somebody put me out of my pain!