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(trapped on a giant flying boomerang)
The Flash: I swear, when I get out of this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you.
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Trickster: My plan went south. I mean, what's so special about a disco of death? The heck with all of them – I'm an artist, they just rob banks. Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang…they probably would have gone for it if I'm a captain.
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Flash: Listen, I need to go home before the opening tonight.
Batman: We're coming with you.
Flash: You really don't have to.
Batman: We're Coming With You.
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Orion: Flash?
Flash: Hey guys.
Orion: You're tied to a very large boomerang?
Flash: Yeah...?
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Flash: Mirror Master!
Mirror Master: You're quick as ever.
Flash: Yeah? Well…you're…you're not really all there.
Mirror Master: Oh, nice try. If you had another minute you'd probably think of a decent comeback.
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Mirror Master: The hardest men in town and we all have something in common.
Trickster: Bilateral symmetry!
(everyone stares)
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Mirror Master: Yeah, too bad the Flash busted you before and you didn't get the chance to spend a dime of it.
Trickster: And you know what else?
Captain Boomerang: Well at least he didn't make me eat my own laser kaleidoscope.
Mirror Master: That's a rumor! A complete exaggeration. And besides it was a laser pistol.
Captain Cold: It's like that time I stole an entire train while it was moving. The way people told it you'd think the Flash shoved my cold gun…
Trickster: (interrupting) You know, I've had him on the ropes too.
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Mirror Master: Gentleman, we live in brutal times. Last week, to make ends meet I was reduced to hijacking a tractor trailer filled with sports cars.
Captain Cold: That is so beneath you. At least knock over a bank.
Trickster: Got to visualize.
Captain Cold: Visualize? What the heck does that mean? If I don't "visualize" a mortage payment soon the wife'll have me bagging groceries for a living.
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Mirror Master: If we aren't taking turns, let's at least see who hurts him the worst.
(all three villains miss and hit a Flash mannequin)
Flash: Better you than me.
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Orion: Now I understand. You play the fool to hide a warrior's pain.
Flash: Dude, the bad guys went down and nobody got hurt. Know what I call that? A really good day.
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Mirror Master: So, we're the hardest men in town...
Waitress: What will it be, boys?
Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmer.
Trickster: Cherry Cola.
Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.
Captain Cold: Milk. (everyone stares) My ulcer's been acting up.
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Orion: What about your enemy?
Flash: Huh? Oh, right. Hey, dude, soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in.
Trickster: Got me again, Flash!
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Trickster: Me next! It's my turn! Nothing as stupid as a giant boomerang. First, I get 400 cases of fake dog vomit. I grease the bottoms of them and when the Flash runs into them, the whole mess slides into a wall of metal spikes. The cases break open and what's left of the Flash is buried alive in phony barf! And then…(giggles)...everything explodes!
(everyone stares)
Captain Cold: You know what? Taking turns is dumb. Let's all just jump him at the museum.
Mirror Master: Brilliant.
Captain Boomerang: Good deal.
Trickster: But c'mon, it'll be great. Okay, you don't like the barf, I can make do with 50,000 rotten eggs and a chain saw. (everyone leaves) Okay, if that's the way you're going to be about it, forget it - I quit! Nobody gets me...
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Orion: (about Flash) Central City builds statues to this...fool. Who makes bad jokes, and concerns himself with pitiful men like the Trickster. I don't understand.
Batman: No...you don't.
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Flash: So, don't worry. We took care of the bad guys and everything's okay now.
Linda Park: Flash, what about the new museum? It got destroyed in the battle and it was our biggest shrine to you. And you're our greatest hero...(leaning up to Flash's face) our greatest...hope.
Flash: Well...at least I got to be on TV and you know how much I like that!
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Captain Cold: That's it? I was all set to crack some bones.
Orion: Then brace yourself!
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Orion: Talk! While you still have a jaw.
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Flash: (to Mirror Master) While you wait for me to come arrest you, why not take some time and reflect on your mistakes. (walks away) Hey that was pretty good.
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Flash: Watchtower - table for one.
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Flash: (to Batman) Oh right, uh, cause it's Flash Appreciation Day. Yeah, it'll be great. I understand if everybody's too busy to come, no biggie. My mom's gonna be there. Let's see, my uncle's flying in. Be great if one of the original seven made it. I mean, okay, yeah, it's the Flash Museum, but to me, the whole League deserves the honor, all of us, like I said no biggie...(sigh)
Batman: What time?
Flash: Six o'clock. Nooooo...you're really coming?...Awesome! You're a stand-up guy Bats, don't ever let them call you a crazed loner.
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Orion: (to Batman) I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never catch me at one of those museum openings. (pause) It's not black tie, is it?
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Linda Park: (about Flash) When we come back, I'll try to get with him...get to him for an interview...are we off. Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.
Marla: Okay...now you're off.