Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Season 1 Episode 5

From A to D

1
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Aug 31, 2005 on Bravo
8.9
out of 10
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14 votes
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Episode Summary

EDIT
From A to D
AIRED:

When Kathy receives a gift from Renée Zellweger, she realizes that Renée has been called out in Kathy's act. Kathy tries to figure out the meaning behind this sudden gift, and wonders how best to respond.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Dennis Hensley

    Dennis Hensley

    Himself/Kathy's Best Gay

    Jessica Zajicek

    Jessica Zajicek

    Herself/Kathy's Assistant

    Kathy Griffin

    Kathy Griffin

    Herself

    Maggie Griffin

    Maggie Griffin

    Herself/Kathy's Mother

    Matt Moline

    Matt Moline

    Himself/Kathy's Husband

    Tony Tripoli

    Tony Tripoli

    Himself/Kathy's Best Gay

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (26)

      • Kathy : Any press is good press, even if it's about how poorly I dress.

      • Kathy : I know it's gonna get me in trouble when I talk about celebrities, but on the other hand, I'm not makin' stuff up.

      • Kathy : It's key to not be photographed alone.

      • Kathy : I can keep makeup on for up to four days...if it's professionally done well enough.

      • Kathy : (About agents) They're all such fuckers, that I'm sure even the biggest stars get put on hold.

      • Kathy : (About the Renée roses) Are these not the color of menstrual blood?

      • Kathy: (About Zellweger) I may have said in an interview in People magazine that I thought Renée Zellweger was so thin that she looked like the lost Olsen triplet. And I may have said that she hasn't eaten since Chicago.

      • Kathy: The situation with Zellweger is eating me like a cancer, which reminds me - also our dog Chance has cancer. So Matt and I have to go to the doggie chemo center and Chance has to get his chemo. It's very sad because we're obsessed dog people. We love those dogs more the most poeple. Certainly more than our own families.

      • Kathy: Well, the latest gossip for me is Renée Zellweger is somehow Asian. I don't know what's happened to her face, but she's Asian. Interviewer: It's kinda puffy, is that what you're saying? Kathy: It's puffy and she's - maybe she's Pan Asian, I don't know if she's full-blown Asian. But um, she's very thin and she's changed nationalities.

      • Kathy: I'm so excited to meet some of these women I've never met before. So I'm excited to meet people, I like to meet people. And then judge them.

      • Kathy: Ladies Home Journalnamed me - and also 37 other women - as one of the Funniest Women of 2005.

      • Kathy: If I didn't have Cynthia to do my makeup, I would look like one of the Children of the Corn.

      • Kathy: Tony, she's ruining my life. I can't sleep, I can't think straight. You won, Zellweger! You won!

      • Tony: (About Renée's flowers) It's like a modern day Rubik's cube, I don't even - I can't make heads or tails of it. It's - everything's a clue. It's - we need to get Angela Lansbury on the case.

      • Kathy: Where else can you get a nice warm fritter and then have someone peeing next to you?

      • Kathy: I'm like Louise of Thelma & Louise, where I just don't wanna go to Texas and I'm just scared of Texas and bad things happen in Texas.

      • Kathy: There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.

      • Kathy: (About mentioning Renée in her hometown, Houston) I can't even think about mentioning her. They're gonna hog-tie me and roll me in the parking lot...whatever that means when they "roll" you. Does that mean that people beat you up and then they just kind of roll you around like a nut log? It doesn't sound that bad.

      • Kathy: I don't like guns at all. I don't think they should be legal and I don't think there's a real purpose for them. I think they're for sport and for killing people. Or both.

      • Kathy: (About Jesus) I don't think he was that great. I think some of his teachings could be devisive. You know, he's a little culty. Also, people wanna find Jesus normally like when they're on death row. People who didn't even know who Jesus was and all of a sudden he's their best buddy.

      • Kathy: (About Renée) She's not out of my act just because of this. Maggie: How do you get out of your act? Kathy: You gotta buy me a car. A brand new car.

      • Kathy: (About Steve, a reporter) He really sounded like he was high, or on a sedative, or on Trim Spa.

      • Kathy: (About the flowers) I think there's some anthrax in there. Maggie: I think so too. There's something very sinister here.

      • Kathy: (About Renée) You know what I said in my DVD? I said she looked like a sweaty, puffy, Coke whore.

      • Kathy: (About what happens when she enters the room) Some celebrities do leave the room, and that's a fact. In droves. As they should.

      • Kathy: (About Renée's flowers) I don't know what the note's gonna say - like, "Die Bitch" or "Keep 'em laughing?"

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Murder, She Wrote
        Tony: "We need to get Angela Lansbury on the case."
        He is referring to the show, in which Angela Lansbury plays a detective.

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