Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Season 1 Episode 6

Magic Carpet Ride

1
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Sep 07, 2005 on Bravo
9.0
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Episode Summary

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Magic Carpet Ride
AIRED:

Because of her success at the Grammys, Kathy gets a job patrolling the red carpet at the Oscars! However, she has to stay on the "media bridge" as part of E!'s Live at The Red Carpet special.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Dennis Hensley

    Dennis Hensley

    Himself/Kathy's Best Gay

    Jessica Zajicek

    Jessica Zajicek

    Herself/Kathy's Assistant

    Kathy Griffin

    Kathy Griffin

    Herself

    Maggie Griffin

    Maggie Griffin

    Herself/Kathy's Mother

    Matt Moline

    Matt Moline

    Himself/Kathy's Husband

    Tony Tripoli

    Tony Tripoli

    Himself/Kathy's Best Gay

    Lance Bass

    Lance Bass

    Himself

    Guest Star

    Jamie Masada

    Jamie Masada

    Himself - Laugh Factory Owner

    Guest Star

    Erica Courtney

    Erica Courtney

    Herself - Jewelry Designer

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (17)

      • Kathy: (About Julia Roberts' strange choice of kid's names) Here's my predictions; Hazel is gonna get into porn at like fifteen. Fifteen, cause she's gonna want and need like validation that she's sexy. And her porn name is gonna be like Naughty Myrtle. Phineas--already gay. Already gay. It's inevitable, it's inevitable. He's on the Pride Float the minute he can walk.

      • Kathy: Mr. Britney has somehow gotten his ass on the cover of Details. And by the way, could Britney have picked a worse loser on the PLANET?! It's like she searched the solar system for the biggest loser that would suck her dry of her money, and she found him.

      • Kathy: The last Bachelor sounded like an old Jewish woman.

      • Kathy: I have been a "special correspondent" - that's what they call me at E!, cause they don't even wanna say co-host - with the main correspondent, Star Jones. (The audience boos Star Jones) I...love you.

      • Kathy: There are Star Jones billboards, and they're just her face and very expensive drop earrings. And there's a quote from her that says something like, "No wedding talk…I promise." And I want my own billboard. I think it should be a very beautiful, extremely airbrushed photo of me, and the quote should be "Suck It!" because that's my inner thought bubble.

      • Kathy: (To a vendor about her free stuff) No...I just wanna take them, I don't wanna try them on.

      • Kathy: In the end, we all got big bags of free stuff. Did I mention it was free?

      • Kathy: If E! still had Celebrities Uncensored, I'd finally have a chance at it.

      • Kathy: I'm trying to do the model kick like like they do on America's Next Top Model. Which I still think I have a shot at, by the way.

      • Kathy: Right now I look like a fat cow. And I wanna look like I have anorexia nervosa and I need to be hospitalized. That's how thin I want to look, like I'm on my way to rehab.

      • Kathy : I look like Halle Berry's thinner, white cousin.

      • Kathy: I think that tan spray was so effective that I looked like an extra from Hotel Rwanda.

      • Kathy: I can't even breathe! That's how much I love this dress! I wanna vomit it's so tight.

      • Kathy: Well, I feel bad that I made Ali redesign the dress entirely, but you know, I had to have it. I said, "I'm sorry. I know that it isn't your vision, but it's their vision. (Points to her boobs) These guys."

      • Kathy: Judith knows that I need to a bra with straps. I don't want my boobs bouncing all over like basketballs. I control where they are, not a fashion designer.

      • Kathy: I was about thirty seconds away from sitting in a pool of my own urine, crying.

      • Kathy: Let's just say if I ever fell off the media bridge, I'd be dead. Oh, I'll still be making fun of the stars, just not to their faces.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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