Keeping Up Appearances

Rose: I want to be burried in Mummy's wedding dress! Onslow: You've got a bloody cheek being burried in white.

Hyacinth: [On phone] Elizabeth. Yes, certainly I'll give you the benefit of my opinion. [Scene cuts to outside as Elizabeth shows off her dress to Hyacinth] Hyacinth: Oh yes. I like that. I've always liked that. Elizabeth: I haven't had it all that long. Hyacinth: It's very suitable, dear. You'll blend beautifully into the background.

Rose: [On phone] I can't live without Mr. Hepplewhite, not since the tragedy [Pause] Well it's what happens to all men in the end, he's gone back to his wife.

Daisy: It's bad luck not to buy something from a gypsy! Onslow: Bad luck? When we live like this how can you be scared of bad luck?

Richard: This suit? Hyacinth: Good grief, Richard, why do you always ask me? I don't determine what people wear. Richard: Do I take it that's a yes? Hyacinth: Can't you find a more religious tie?

Hyacinth: (on the phone) Rose, I know I asked the question, but I'm not standing here surrounded by expensive wallpaper to be given details like that.

Hyacinth: Richard! I will not have you waving in dirty gardening gloves. Richard: They get dirty when you're gardening, Hyacinth. Hyacinth: Can't you keep one pair for gardening and one pair for waving?

Hyacinth: (on the phone) Rose, you will not commit suicide, I forbid it. No one in this family has ever committed suicide, and I'm sure we're not going to start on the day I'm having the new vicar for tea and light refreshments.

Hyacinth: I wish you wouldn't raise your arms like that, Richard. Not when you're overheated. It's very common out of doors. Richard: It's warm work, Hyacinth. Hyacinth: If you have to perspire, I wish you'd go into the back garden, so as not to disturb the people who respect us socially.

Richard: What about their delivery policy? Hyacinth: Inept. Point to the folly of them, not customers of our social status. Be scathing, Richard. Crush them!