Keeping Up Appearances

Season 5 Episode 11

The Pageant

Aired Unknown Dec 25, 1995 on BBC

Episode Recap

Hyacinth gets a new mobile phone. She wakes Richard up in the middle of the night and tells him to make sure that it's being charged. He complains about having to participate in the historical pageant she is planning. She then calls the vicar, who hands the phone to his wife. Hyacinth gives her the phone number for her new mobile phone.

Hyacinth and Richard arrive at the church hall with their costumes. Elizabeth and Emmett follow them in, struggling through the door with more costumes. Hyacinth tells them to go on ahead of her and organize the volunteers. She then calls the local paper on her mobile phone to tell them to send someone around to take pictures.

Daisy and Onslow awake to the sound of tango music playing downstairs. Rose comes into their room and tells them that Daddy is taking dancing lessons from a man named Mr. Crabtree. Daisy comments that they'd better change his pills.

Back at the church, Hyacinth has Richard hang up a sign advertising the pageant and asking for more volunteers. She tells Elizabeth to sort the volunteer into two groups. Elizabeth tries to tell her that there are no volunteers, but she isn't paying attention.

She and Richard head into the other room, where she finds that there are no volunteers. Emmett starts playing a dirge in the background.

Onslow gets annoyed with the tango music because he can't hear the TV. Daisy tries to get frisky with him, but he ignores her advances.

Hyacinth starts calling people from the church on her mobile phone, but they keep hanging up on her. She assumes there is a problem with the phone.

Hyacinth calls Daisy and asks her to bring as many people as she can. She says she will call Violet, but Daisy tells her that she and Bruce were fighting the day before.

Richard, Emmett, and Elizabeth iron the costumes. Hyacinth calls Richard into the other room and tells him that her family is on their way. She instructs him to wait by the door and grab Onslow as soon as he comes in and get him in costume.

Daisy gets concerned about Onslow "going to war", but he tells her to stop worrying since it's not a real war. Rose comes in and asks if Daddy and Mr. Crabtree can come, too. Daisy says that Hyacinth told her to "bring everybody" so Rose tells them they can come. Just then, there is a loud knock at the door.

At the church, Richard is sweeping the floor when Hyacinth rushes in and says she thinks she heard a car. She again tells him to make sure to grab Onslow right away. She looks outside and sees that it is Violet and Bruce. She tells Richard to go get Elizabeth and Emmett so they can meet Violet and Bruce. As soon as Elizabeth and Emmett arrive, however, Violet and Bruce burst through the door, fighting like crazy. Hyacinth hurries everyone back to work.

At Daisy's house, the wife of one of Rose's lovers is shouting at her. Daisy tells her that they have to leave, but the woman says she's not finished with Rose yet. Daisy talks her into coming along to the pageant with them.

The vicar tries to get out of going to see the rehearsals, but his wife tells him he has to go.

Hyacinth hears Onslow's car backfire and reminds Richard to grab Onslow when he comes in and get him into his costume. Daddy and Mr. Crabtree tango into the room, followed closely by Rose and her lover's wife. Richard takes Onslow aside when he comes in and helps him get in costume.

Onslow sneaks out and goes to the liquor store for some beer. Unfortunately, he realizes that he has no money and has to sneak away.

Elizabeth tries to figure out how to work the lighting at the church, and Emmett tells her she needs to control the curtain as well. She gets annoyed, saying that she has too much to do. Emmett snaps at her, saying he doesn't like being at the beck and call of Hyacinth.

Hyacinth gets into her queen's costume and calls Emmett in to get his opinion. He starts talking about the queen that she will be portraying and tells her that King Charles married two women, both of whom were foreigners. Hyacinth says she will remember that the first queen was French as she plays her part. Emmett also tells her that the queen was very provocative and suggests her costume should be more suggestive.

The vicar and his wife arrive at the church, where they see Violet and Bruce arguing. They then encounter Daddy and Mr. Crabtree dancing, followed by Rose and her lover's wife, who are arguing loudly. Richard walks in and greets them. Elizabeth lights up the stage and plays the fanfare. Hyacinth comes out and sits on the throne. She calls for her husband, then pulls her dress up, revealing her leg. The vicar calls for the curtain, and Elizabeth pulls the wrong rope, releasing a backdrop. The backdrop strikes Hyacinth in the head and knocks her off the throne.

Hyacinth is taken out on a stretcher, talking the whole way.
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