Kim Possible

(After falling through the ventilation duct and into Middleton Mall) Kim: Next time we come to the mall let's stick to the main entrance, okay?

(In the Middleton Mall) Kim: You know, I usually like to go home and change after a mission. Ron: No time for that, KP! Kim: Okay, why? Ron: The first 100 fans not be trampled get a free GWA-tour T-shirt! Kim: GWA? Ron: How can you not know the Global Wrestling Association? It's only the most excellent sporting organization in the world! Steel Toe rules! Yeah!

(In the mall, at the GWA appearance) Fans: (chanting) Pain! Pain! Pain! Kim: All this just because some wrestlers are making a mall appearance? Ron: Not just some. Pain King and Steel Toe! Pain King's got a bionic eye. Don't even think about looking into it. Or you'll writhe on the floor in total pain! Kim: And I suppose Steel Toe actually has steel toes? Ron: No, that's just a publicity gimmick. They're more like titanium, actually! A freak industrial accident. Rufus: Yeah! Kim: Right.

(at the GWA appearance) Jackie: Listen up, Middleton! Are you ready for action? Everyone: Yeah! Jackie: Are you ready for head-bumping, chest-thumping, back-breaking, ground-shaking confrontation? Ron: Yeah, baby! Kim: Is that Pain guy? Ron: Uh, no! That's Jackie Oakes. Founder of the GWA. Jackie: Here's Pain King! (Pain King enters the scene) Pain King fans: (chanting) Pain! Pain! Pain! Jackie: And Steel Toe! (Steel Toe arrives on the scene) Steel Toe Fans: (chanting) Steel! Steel! Steel! Ron: Drop em, Steel! Kim: Okay, I'm in the mall and I'm not shopping. What's wrong with this picture? (She tries to leave, but Ron stops her) Ron: Wait, wait, wait! Wrestling is more than two guys beating on each other! It's also a war of words. Pain King: You are going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Pain King: No, you're going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Kim: Yeah, they're poets. Look, Club Banana's doing a tie-in with the museum's Cleopatra's Closet exhibit. That's where I'll be.

(Kim enters Club Banana, and embraces a pair of pants) Kim: Hello, civilization! Monique: Oh, my gosh! How much do you love Cleo's cargos?! Kim: Way much! Monique: You look good in Giza Green Kim: (at the excact same time as what Monique said) Do you have them in Giza Green? Kim: (quick) Jinx! You owe me a soda!

(Pain King and Steel Toe) Pain King: It makes me sick to look at you, lead foot! Steel Toe: You will be so much sicker when I stomp you with cold, hard, steel! Pain King: Let's go, right here, right now! Jackie: Now, now, boys! Save it for Mayhem in Middleton! Good seats still available, folks. Pain King: You're going down! (they start fighting, and so does the crowd)

(At Club Banana) Monique: Do you belong to our Club Banana Club? Kim: Charter member! Monique: Kim Possible? I thought it was you! The stuff you do is so amazing! Kim: It's no big. But thanks. Monique: I'm Monique. Just moved here. Kim: Cool. Where'd you go to school? Monique: Middleton High. Kim: Me too! Monique: I start Monday! Kim: You totally have to let me show you around! Ron: (moved around by the fighting crowd) Kim! Kim: (to Monique while leaving) See you at school!

(After Kim saved Ron from the wrestiling fans) Jackie: Honey, that was some performance. Have you ever think about career in professional wrestling? Kim: So not! Jackie: I'll tell you what, here's two tickets to Mayhem in Middleton. Enjoy yourself on Jackie. Ron: These are backstage passes! You get to go backstage with backstage passes! Where the backstage is! Kim: And hang out with some guy named "Steel Cage"? Ron: Ah, KP, Steel Toe is a guy. Steel cage is... well, a cage. Kim: You take them. Ron: You can't just give them away! Do you know what these are worth? (pause) Okay, you can give them to me. Ron: Hey, let's go back to your house and watch wrestling so we get psyched to watch wrestling! Kim: Not tonight. I'm going to the Cleopatra's Closet exhibit at the Middleton Art Museum. It's a special preview for Club Banana frequent buyers. Ron: You'd rather see some dead queen's clothes than watch Steel Toe's Night of a hundred Bruises with me? Kim: My answer would have to be... hello? Yeah. See ya! (Kim leaves) Ron: Cleopatra! Like anybody's gonna remember her ten years from now!

(At the Cleopatra's Closet exhibition) Monique: Hey, Kim! Kim: Monique! I should've known you'd be here! Monique: Exclusive preview! The queen's accessories! Girl, it is all good! I love your pants! Kim: And you, very Cleo! Guide: Good evening. If you'll follow me, It's my pleasure to welcome you to this special Club Banana preview of Cleopatra's Closet. (they enter the next room, only to find the guard tied up) Guide: Oh, my goodness! Kim: Call security and stay together. Wade, trouble at the Middleton museum. Can you tap the security-cam? Wade: Tapping. (Kim notices someone running, and follows)

(Ron is watching wrestling in Kim's house with the Tweebs) Ron: Woo-hoo! Toes of steel! Tim: Ow! Pain King's down! Jim: Duh! Pain King never beats Steel Toe! (Kim enters) Kim: Ron, you won't believe what happened tonight! (the three hush her. The Kimmunicator beeps) Kim: What's the sitch, Wade? (the boys hush her again) Kim: (annoyed) Sorry, Wade. Go ahead. Wade: The only thing stolen from the museum was a small talisman. It was a gift to Cleopatra from the high priest of Anubis, the jackal-headed Egyptian deity of mummification. Kim: A mummy?! Gross! I bet she would've rather had nice earrings. Wade: Don't be so sure! This talisman was supposedly enchanted. Kim: Oh, come on! Who would believe that? Wade: Maybe that glowing guy on the roof. Kim: Good point! What's it supposed to do? Wade: Super-human strength! Kim: Oh, great. Well, at least it's not immortality... I guess. Thanks, Wade.

(In the Possible residence) Ron: So? How are the queen's old clothes? Kim: I barely got to see them! Right after I hooked up with Monique, the museum was robbed by some glowing headed animal guy. Ron: That's nice! (pause) Wait a minute, who's Monique? Kim: New friend. Really great! Anyway, the thief stole an enchanted ancient talisman. Ron: Woah, woah! Back up! How can I not know about a new friend? Kim: I met her at Club Banana. Then again at the museum, before I chased the glowing robber. Ron: So what's she like? Kim: The robber? Ron: The friend, Kim! The new friend! Kim: Ron, focus! There's a glowing guy running around Middleton with some kind of super-natural powers. Ron: Okay, okay. Why don't we hit Bueno Nacho and you can fill me in! Kim: No thanks. Monique and I stopped for smoothies on the way home.

(At Bueno Nacho) Ron: Smoothies? Since when does Kim drink smoothies? Rufus: Mhm, smoothies! Ron: Seeing a pattern here, Rufus! Kim does her thing, I do my thing, and pretty soon, we're doing different things! Rufus: Uh-oh! Ron: Maybe I'm just blowing this whole Monique thing out of proportion. I bet tomorrow everything's back to normal!

(Ron is ringing the door beel outside the Possible residence) Ron: Good morning, Mrs. Dr. Possible. Is Kim ready for school? Rufus: Hi! Mrs. Dr. Possible: You missed her, Ron. I think she said something about meeting Monique. Ron: Monique? Mrs. Dr. Possible: Ooh, And I'm gonna be late for my cranial bypass. Say hi to your folks! (she runs off)

(In the school cafeteria) Kim: And then once, I was saving this desert prince from some stupid death squad, and the back of my skirt was totally caught my underwear... the whole time! Monique: No way! Kim: I could've died! He almost did. (Ron takes up a seat between Kim and Monique) Ron: Hello, ladies! Kim: Ron! What are you doing here? Ron: Can I dine with my best friend and her new friend? Kim: Uh... Ron, Monique. And vice versa. Ron: Bear claw? Monique: No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian! Ron: I'm pretty sure it's imitation bear. Kim: She's joking, Ron! Ron: Good one! Good one! So, did Kim tell you that I'm her sidekick, 'cause that role's definitely taken by me. Monique: Right... well, you know, well, I'd better get to class. Later, Kim. Um, nice meeting you, Ron. Ron: Likewise, I'm sure! (Monique leaves) Kim: What is your problem? You're acting really weird! Ron: Well, let's see. You went to the museum with Monique, not me. Monique was with you this morning, not me. Hmm, pattern? Kim: Yeah. You... weird! Ron: No, we're drifting apart because you're excluding me! Kim: I am not excluding you! It's just you and Monique are... different! Ron: Oh, now you're gonna tell me that sometimes growing up means growing apart? I've heard it before, Kim! Billy Bullwicky, second grade! Kim: You are so blowing this out of proportion! Ron: Okay, maybe I am. Oh, don't forget Mayhem in Middleton tonight! Kim: Those tickets are for you. I've kind of already made plans with... er... Monique. Ron: I blame the smoothies! (gives back the Mayhem in Middleton backstage tickets) Here, Jackie gave these to you. Kim: And I gave them to you. Ron: And I'm giving them back to you! (he takes one) Except this one. But only because it'll be the highlight of my life! Kim: Ron!

(in Pain King and Steel Toe's wardrobe) Pain King: So, you're taking a vacation this year? Steel Toe: Yeah, we went ahead and rented a cottage out on Martha's Vineyard. You know, It'll be nice to get a chance to relax with the wife and kids. Pain King: Sounds charming! (someone knocks on the door) I hate your guts! Steel Toe: I'm taking you down, slime! (Jackie enters) Pain King: Oh, hi, Jackie! Steel Toe: Phew! Man, I thought you were a reporter or something! Jackie: No, no! Hey, listen, what do you guys think about me getting into the ring with you's tonight, eh? (they both laugh) Pain King: Come on, Jackie! Be reasonable! Steel Toe: Yeah, I don't mean to sell ya short. ... oh! Jackie: Oh, very funny, very funny. Steel Toe: Sorry, man! I didn't mean it like that. Pain King: Stick to promoting, Jackie! That's what you're good at! (he exits the locker room, and takes out a talisman) Jackie: This is all gonna change... tonight!

(Ron is walking past some guys in the front row) Ron: Hey, nice seats! Guy: Definitely! Ron: But not as nice as mine! Backstage, baby!

(Ron enters the backstage) Ron: Gotta see my man, Steel Toe! (he sees Steel Toe and Pain King walk past) It's Steel Toe and Pain King so close I could touch 'em but I won't. 'Cause I'm cool! (they walk past) Yo, Steel Toe! 'sup, Pain? (they walk past him) I touched Steel Toe! Rufus: Woo-hoo! Me, too! Steel Toe: Your gerbil's totally bold, man! Ron: Yes, thank you! Could I have an autograph? Could you make it um... to Ron? Pain King: Uh, sure. Let me get a pen. Yo, Jackie! Steel Toe: Yeah, where is that guy? I need my sunglasses, pronto! Ron: I'll get them! Can I, please, please, please? Steel Toe: Sure, kid. They're in my dressing room. (Ron runs off)

(In a room with many candles, Jackie is standing, with some kind of Egyptian-style clothes) Jackie: Let me see if I've got everything alright. Open-toe sandals. Check. Yeah. Oh, talisman. Ohh, glowing! That is nice, huh? Hmmm. Alright, and my ancient papyrus which I shall now begin to read from. "Anibus, protector of the tomb, your time is now. The time of doom!" (he turns into a jackal, just as Ron enters) Ron: You know what? I'll just come back later. (he picks up Ron and throws him out) Ron: You wanna be left alone! I'm down with that! The Jackal: Tonight the world will see the fearsome power of... The Jackal! Ron: I've seen! I believe!

(at a coffee bar) Monique: Not enough froth in your latte? Kim: No, I'm just feeling guilty. I kind of blew off Ron to be here tonight. Monique: Why didn't you bring him along? Kim: Unless someone put a waiter in a headlock, this is definitely not Ron scene. Besides, he had a date with Steel Toe. Monique: (excited) He scored tickets to Mayhem in Middleton?! The GWA rocks! Kim: What? Monique: Pretty tacky, I know. But my brother hooked me. Pain King's my boy! Kim: I can't believe you and Ron have something in common! (the Kimmunicator beeps) What up, Wade? Wade: More on the talisman. If the holder recites incantation from an ancient text, the spirit of Anubis could actually possess him! Kim: Sounds bad. So we better find the ancient text. Wade: Too late. Somebody already found it. Some masked guy stole it from the University in Chicago. Kim: Do you have access to the police report? (a police file opens) Hmmm. The thief was super short and the GWA was in Chicago before Middleton. I'm sorry, Monique, I keep running out on you.

(The Jackal has entered the ring at Mayhem in Middleton) Pain King: Who is this guy? Steel Toe: Man, beats me! Ron:It's Jackie! He's got super-natural powers! Steel Toe:Jackie Oakes? The Jackal: You all said I was too small to get in the ring. Well, here I am! Do you still think I'm too small? (he picks up the two wrestlers) Guy: This Jackal's awesome! Ron: You made your point, Jackie! Put them down! The Jackal: I am no longer Jackie. I am now The Jackal!

(Kim is walking through the crowd at Mayhem in Middleton) Kim: Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me! Um, I'm just gonna squeeze through here to get... Out of my way! Ron: First I lose my best friend, now professional wrestling! Everything's ruined! Kim: You didn't lose your best friend. Ron: KP? Kim: And don't worry! We're gonna save this... this... Would you call it a sport? Ron: The most excellent one ever! Kim: Let's take him down! Ron: I'd tag team with you any day, KP! Kim: This will be easy! The Jackal: I will take on all comers in a no holds barred grudge match! Right here! Right now! Come on! Spectator: Awesome rocking effects, bro! Kim: Prepare to be body-slammered, Jackal! Ron: That's body-slam! Better let me do it. (he gets thrown away) Kim: Ron! Ron: You go. Kim: Why don't you try it without the talisman? The Jackal: Why don't you try and make me? (he lifts Kim up in the air) The Jackal: I am all-powerful! (he drops Kim) Kim: Ouch! No duh! Ron: Kim!

(they are fighting the Jackal) Kim: You distract him. I'll go for the talisman! Ron: Distraction. Solid. (to The Jackal) Steel Toe's number one! Jackal who? Jackal who? Steel Toe's number one! That's right, you heard me, old demon! (Kim tries to grab the talisman, but she fails) Kim: Oh boy. The Jackal: From now on, the world will bow down to me! Kim: As long as he has that talisman on, this guy can't be stopped. Ron, you keep The Jackal busy. Ron: I did that already! And I have the rope burns to show for it. Kim: Doesn't have to be for long. Get them to help. Ron: (to Steel Toe and Pain King) We gotta keep The Jackal busy! Pain King: No way, man! This guy's scary! Steel Toe: There's no way! I don't wanna a piece of this guy. His eyes are glowing! Ron: Gentlemen, you're not just entertainers, you're not just gifted athletes. You're heroes! Both: Let's get it on! Steel Toe: Let's see what you've got! (they start fighting The Jackal) Ron: (to The Jackal, scared) Hi. (Ron is thrown by The Jackal. The fight continuous) Ron: (to Rufus) One chance, buddy! (he throws Rufus, and the talisman falls to the floor, causing The Jackal to return to the normal Jackie) Jackie: Um, guys, be reasonable! Pain King: Jackie, you're going down! Guy #1: Dude, that's the best, awesome, most totally ripping show I've ever seen! Guy #2: No way, man! That whole Jackal thing was totally fake!

(At Bueno Nacho) Monique: You know, I still can't believe you met Pain King and Steel Toe! Ron: I can't believe you're into wrestling! Kim: I can't believe I know either one of you! Monique: Enough talk! In the immortal words of Pain King, "You're going down!" Ron: Oh, contrary, It is you who will be going down. Monique: First one to drip is a loser! Ron: Better get your bib, baby! Monique: So wrong! Rufus: Go! (he drops a napkin, and they start eating a burrito as fast as they can) Kim: I think this is the beginning of a very weird friendship.

Kim: Ron, what's the deal? You're acting extra weird lately. Ron: Well, let's see. You went to the museum with Monique, not me. Monique was with you this morning, not ME! Hmm, PATTERN?! Kim: (anger rising) Yeah. You. WEIRD. Ron: No, we're drifting apart because you're excluding me. Kim: I am not excluding you! It's just that you and Monique are ... different. Ron: Oh, now you're gonna tell me that sometimes growing up means growing apart! I've heard it before, Kim! (about to cry) Billy Bulwicki, second grade! Kim: You are SO blowing this out of proportion!

Rufus: Hmmm, smoothies!

Ron: These are backstage passes, you get to go backstage with backstage passes, where the backstage is! Kim: And hang out with some guy named "Steel Cage?" Ron: Uh, KP? Steel Toe is a guy, Steel Cage is. . . well, a cage.

(Kim is at Club Banana) Kim: Hello, Civilization.

Ron: You'd rather see some dead queen's clothes than watch Steel Toe's Night of 100 Bruises with me? Kim: My answer would have to be: Hello-o? Yea-ah.

Ron: I blame the smoothies.

Guy backstage: Yeah, but when you think about it, golf is really a contact sport.

Kim: OK, I'm in the mall, and I'm not shopping. What's wrong with this picture?

Ron: Y'know, Rufus, I'm starting to notice a pattern; if I start doing my things, and Kim is doing her things, pretty soon we're doing different things!

Ron: Wrestling is more than two guys beating on each other; it's also a war of words. Pain King: You're going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Pain King: No, you're going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Kim: (sarcastically) Yeah, they're poets.