King of The Hill

Bill (as the Hills return home to see their house in disarray and call the police, believing they have been robbed): Oh sure; when Hank calls the police they come right over. When I call, they say it's not their job to keep me company.

(Anzon de Vries is teaching Hank how to walk Ladybird in the alley while the guys look on) Anzon: No, you must be the leader! Some hacks refer to this as being the alpha dog – I call it being the pack leader dog. Much fresher.

(The Hills are watching Bobby's baseball game when he comes up to bat) Hank: It's the bottom of the fifth, so it's an official game. If it starts to rain while Bobby's at bat, it'll end the game and Bobby will get a 'W' without embarrassing himself.

(The police are investigating what they think is a break-in at the Hills' house) Police Officer: Most people think it was the person you'd least expect, but we usually find it's the person you MOST expect (looks at Lucky). Hank: Well, I don't know anyone who would want to do this. Police Officer: Really? Because the perpetrator usually happens to be the shadiest looking guy in the room. (tilts his head in Lucky's direction) In this room.

Old Man: (to Mr. de Vries) You remind me of a golden retriever I used to have. May I pet you?