King of The Hill Season 4 Episode 14

(Bobby finds out that Hank did drugs)
Bobby: You know, if I did something like this you'd punish me. I think I should punish you.
Hank: Okay, what's my punishment son? Am I grounded?
Bobby: Too easy. You cannot mow the lawn for one whole week.
Hank: Aw c'mon Bobby, it was a accident.
Bobby: You want to make it two?

Sheriff: So, let me get this straight. Debbie was Mr. Strickland's mistress and her murdered body was found at the same place where Mr. Strickland and his wife just got done reconciliating their differences?
Peggy: Uh-huh. My husband, Hank, set that up. Well, the reconciliation, not the murder.

(Hank visits Arlen High to ask their drug awareness counselor some questions)
Hank: So someone could take dope, black out in a field, and kill a co-worker?
Counselor: Co-worker, cabdriver, prostitute - doesn't matter who.

Hank: Oh no, my eyes are going bloodshot! I'm going on a trip - I look like I'm doped out of my gourd!

Kahn: (To Hank) Hey, Charlie Manson! Could you autograph this Sugarfoot's napkin I pull out of dumpster? If you murderer, I auction it on Ebay for big bucks!

Sheriff: (to Ranger Payton, who is leaving convenience store) Leaving the Get In Get Out so soon, Payton? I'm sure there's some candy bars you haven't questioned. You better take them Three Musketeers into separate rooms, maybe one of them will crack.
Ranger Payton: That's a good one, Sheriff! How'd Hee Haw ever let you get away?