King of The Hill

Hank (as a power tool is whirring): Is that the power drill? My plans don't call for a power drill. Peggy: It's not just a tool. It's an electric metaphor. Bobby is empowered and he's drilling the point home.

Hank: Bobby, Bobby, what are you doing? Bobby: I noticed that your maintenance work on the house has been lacking lately, so I figured I'd take a quick look at the gutters. Hank: The gutters are fine. Bobby: Yep, there's your gutter goop right there, just like I figured. Hank: Well, I wanted to check the gutters the other day, but the ladder was in the garage, so... Bobby: How about you make yourself useful and throw that away for me? Dale: Amazing. Bobby has taken over as man of the house. You've been demoted to Bobby of the house. At this rate it won't be long till he's... mowing your lawn.

Dale: By the way, we chose a theme for our boat that you may enjoy. What do you think? Sh-sh--sha! Hank: That's a boat? Dale: Not just a boat. Sh-sh-sha! Behold-- the Dracula 5000! The Transylvania Express! Hank: Get that thing away from me! Dale: Your secret is out! Bobby told Joseph. Joseph told Nancy, and Nancy told me. And I told everybody! Bill: You don't stand a chance against our bat boat, Hank!

Hank: Okay, we need to fasten these into secure rows to support our base, and we'll use uh... well, what do you think we should use? Bobby: How about rubber bands? The big kind Wile E. Coyote uses to slingshot himself at the Road Runner? Hank: Okay, uh, we're gonna try metal bracing rods secured with glue. Think you can handle some gluing? Bobby: Ten years of macaroni artwork experience says, yes, I can!

Peggy: How's it going out there? Hank: Bobby's not doing anything. He's just talking. Maybe I'll send him to the store for glitter and puffy paint while I build this thing myself. Peggy: Hank, this always happens when you work with Bobby on something. You have what psychology textbook writers refer to as...a controlling personality. You try to work as a team, but end up doing everything yourself. Hank: That's because Bobby doesn't know how to do anything. Peggy: Hank, you have to let Bobby learn from his own mistakes. Will he lose a finger? Maybe. But he will gain a finger of knowledge in his brain.

Hank: Bobby, there's something I've been meaning to give you for a long time, but I wanted to wait for our first father/son project. Bobby: Look at that hammer! It's so tiny! Hank: Yeah, well...I thought we'd be doing that a lot sooner than we are.

Dale: This is the year we crush the competition and take home the gold . . . colored trophy.

Peggy: When did young girls start dressing like tramps? Nancy: Mm-hmm. They call them prosti-tots.