King of The Hill

Dale: Hank, you wouldn't last one day in the wild. Any skilled outdoorsman knows the female of a species is always the most fierce and calculating. That's why you never fight a lady monkey.

Kahn: Hey, Hank Hill! I knew rednecks abandoned cars and refrigerators. Guess we can throw kids on the list, too. Hank: Ah, dang it! Peggy told Minh, didn't she? She's gonna sell me out to the entire neighborhood.

Peggy: I can't believe it. I-I don't leave my sunglasses in the car overnight, but I leave my boy in a parking lot? If he takes a hammer to our heads while we sleep, I would not blame him.

Hank: Are you kicking me on purpose? Peggy: Hank, I am not kicking you, I am playing footsie. Hank: Oh, right. (nervous laughter) Well, uh..you're it!

Dale: I will live the next 7 days without modern conveniences and live off the land. I'll even eschew date night. Hank: Date night? Dale: Every Friday night, Nancy and I go out on the town and we don't go home until Nancy runs out of money.

Bobby: (on the phone with Hank) I'm at the Get In, Get Out. I hope you're happy. I'm watching prostitutes buy pantyhose!

Joseph: (looking at a mannequin) I don't care if she doesn't have a head. That chick is hot!

Joseph: My dad and I never do things together. He says it's safer if we spread out.