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Lucky asks Peggy to help him get his GED because his code says he can't marry Luanne until he does. Peggy intentionally teaches him the wrong information so he'll fail and give up the idea of marrying her niece. Things change when Luanne drops a bombshell.
The new neighbor's son, Caleb, starts following Hank around, making fun of him and generally annoying him. Hank isn't sure how to deal with such a young bully. Peggy and Dale try to win a taxidermy contest.
In order to buy new jeans Bobby and Joseph get a job, but when they discover that they can make more money, and look cooler, by hanging out on street corners and begging, they stop working.
When Buck gets banned from his favorite strip club, he refocuses on making Strickland Propane a "fun" place to work. He makes his employees dress in costumes, have sleepovers in the office and use hip catchphrases. Peggy uses her media card to get free things.
When Reverend Stroup gives the Hills' pew at the Arlen First Methodist Church to another family, Hank and his family decide to find another church. After attending a variety of churches they decide on the new Mega Church, which has basically a shopping mall inside of it. At first it is great, but Hank soon gets annoyed with how much he has to be involved in various things. Peggy decides that she is the one to help the Pastor, much to his dismay.moreless
Buck Strickland embarks on a propane price war with Thatherton and two other rivals, and hires the guys from "American Chopper" to boost sales at the Propane Expo, but all they do is cause a riot. When the 'war' goes too far, and the companies are all losing profit, Hank takes matters into his own hands, and calls a meeting. Unfortunately, the owners decide to 'price fix' and Hank is blamed. Lucky, Luanne and Bobby wait for Brownville Station tickets, in line 6 days before tickets go on sale.moreless
Kahn is sick of his job and buys out the local car wash as part of a "get rich quick" scheme. After screwing over the customers by the changes he makes everyone leaves and Kahn winds up giving majority ownership to Strickland, which means Hank is forced to work for Kahn. Peggy tries to find out why Nancy refuses to answer her calls.moreless
When Bobby attends the school's job shadow program, he winds up interning for Peter Sterling, a man who runs a pooper-scooper business. Hank is mortified, but Bobby is so impressed by Peter that he decides to pursue the same career. Hank has to put up with Joseph shadowing at Strickland Propane.moreless
In order to raise money to save the Tom Landry Middle School baseball program, Hank invites a Harlem Globetrotters-type softball team, The Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels, to compete against his community league team, the Arlen Zephyrs, who are proud of their undefeated record. When Hank convinces everyone on the team they can win, they ruin the show by taking the game seriously. The Ace decides to not donate the money to the team, and Hank realizes he made a big mistake.moreless
Kahn is accused of losing touch of his Laotian roots and is proclaimed a "banana" (asian in appearance only, but acts white). Shocked by this Kahn goes overboard to find his roots. This angers Hank and his friends who helped him build a swimming pool that he now has turned it into a reflecting pool. When Ted Wassanasong asks him to join the military to prove his commitment Minh thinks things have gone too far.moreless
Hoping to get Bobby to stop cracking jokes in school, Hank enrolls Bobby in a clown class at the local community college. The pretentious instructor teaches Bobby classical comedic theory and sucks all the fun out of him. A ball rolls into the alley and everyone starts playing Kickball.
Peggy decides to write an article on the history of the teakettle, a historic landmark of Arlen, and finds out Arlen was originally called Harlottown and was founded by prostitutes. The new city manager wants to open up a museum to share Arlen's history. Hank is completely against it, but Peggy is for it. That is, until she realizes that the manager only wants to focus on the prostitution, and gets the Adult Video Awards to be hosted in Arlen.moreless
After Bill nurses Hank, Peggy and Bobby through the flu, he starts to feel lonely when there is no one else to take care of. Hank gets Bill to volunteer at a halfway house for alcoholics, and Bill invites the residents to stay with him. Hank winds up having to help Bill, and when even more show up, things get out of hand. Peggy makes a promise to God that if she gets over the flu, she'll learn to ride a bike, and Bobby makes her keep her promise.moreless
When the Arlen Bystander gets a new editor, Peggy gets a job writing a household hints column. Except Peggy doesn't know any household hints, so she gets Minh to supply her with housekeeping tips in exchange for the answers to the New York Times crossword puzzles (as she is competing against Kahn). When Minh can no longer provide Peggy with tips, she has to make up her own, which leads to a potential disaster. Hank makes Bobby get a paper route, to his dismay. Dale, who really wants to be a paper boy, makes a deal with Bobby that he will do all the work.moreless
Hank discovers that Dale and Boomhauer take yearly vacations together, and assumes that they are trying to avoid Bill. He invites his family and Bill along for a weekend at the beach, but during the trip, Hank realizes that his friends are actually trying to avoid him because he’s uptight and bossy. Peggy advises Hank to throw caution to the wind and have some fun with his buddies, but the results leave Hank and the guys overboard. Bobby buys a metal detector and Peggy and Bobby go looking for treasure, but get into a turf war with beachcombers.moreless