User Score: 3907
Bobby passes himself off as a high school student by explaining his height is because he suffers from a kidney condition, and later says that Connie has a tail. Bobby gets caught up in the school's attempt to get the band No Doubt to play at their prom, and forgets to buy prom tickets for his prom. Dale creates the perfect outhouse, the Port-a-Gribble.moreless
It's Nancy's 40th birthday and Dale takes her out, but while they are out a huge hail storm happens. Nancy rushes to the station to report the weather but is too late as Luanne has already done it. Nancy gets moved to night time and weekend news and have the younger sexier, Luanne in the morning. Nancy, trying to regain her age demands a face-lift from Dale, but it is too costly. Dale comes up with a scheme to sue the Manitoba Cigarette Company, claiming that the second hand smoke from all of the cigarettes he smoked aged Nancy prematurely. He thinks they won't show, but the tables get turned when they bring a countersuit.moreless
Bobby takes up a new interest in environmental issues, provoked by a teacher. At first Hank thinks its a bunch of nonsense. That is, until he finds out that the city council wants to drain the quarry, which is hiding a dark secret of Hank, Bill and Dale.
When Bobby's runny nose and constant sneezing turn out to be an allergy to dander, he is given some medication, and Hank is told to get rid of Ladybird. Hank is taken aback, trying to find any way around it, so he builds a luxurious new doghouse. During the 'Grand Opening' of the house, Ladybird refuses to go in. Hank rethinks his options, and sends Bobby out to live in the house. Soon Bobby discovers that he has found the right combination of pills to be able to be around Ladybird, but enjoys living in the dog house so much, he doesn't tell his parents.moreless
With Hank's encouragement, Luanne signs up for a "born-again virgin" program at the church. This leads Peggy to confess something that Hank doesn't know: she had already slept with one other man before she married Hank. Luanne meets a 22 year-old "real virgin," Rhett Vandergraaf, who wants to sleep with Luanne so much that he asks her to marry him, and she accepts. When Peggy objects, Luanne blurts out her secret in front of Hank.moreless
A doctor tells Dale that inhaling dangerous chemicals is affecting his health, and if he doesn't give up exterminating, he'll die. Hank gets Dale a new job as a faceless drone at the adhesives company, Stik Tek. But Dale's experience at killing living things proves invaluable when he is placed in charge of telling people they're fired. Joseph has a school project and Dale helps him by breeding roaches, until his job gets in the way.moreless
Hank's new co-worker is Tammi, a not-too-bright young woman who just moved from Oklahoma. Peggy takes Tammi under her wing and offers to let her stay at the Hill house while she studies to get her GED. Peggy and Hank enjoy Tammi's company and the cool clothes she buys for them, though they're concerned that her dates never seem to last more than an hour. But when Alabaster Jones, the baddest pimp in Oklahoma City, comes to bring Tammi back, Hank finally realizes that Tammi is a hooker and that everybody thinks he's her new pimp.moreless
A showbiz veteran gives Bobby his ventriloquist's dummy, Chip Block. Bobby starts doing routines about Chip's love of sports, and Hank seems to like Chip's personality better than Bobby's. Dale, who was scared at a young age by a doll based on Chip, schemes to destroy the dummy.
The guys go to Austin for Bill's birthday. At the hotel, they decide to have some fun by mooning people through the glass elevator, but Hank is the only one to do it and accidentally moons the former governor of Texas, Ann Richards. Bill takes the heat for it, and winds up dating her. Peggy and Bobby discover how good cooking with charcoal tastes.moreless
Bill decides to create his own Santa's workshop at home and spread the Christmas cheer to all of Arlen's underprivileged youth. He enjoys it so much that he tries to keep the Santa act going even after Christmas is over. When that doesn't work, he takes in a local juvenile delinquent, Wally, who takes advantage of Bill's good nature. Bobby is sick and tired of being treated like a kid by his father.moreless
Bobby is chosen to be the mascot for Tom Landry Middle School. When he informs Hank and friends of the news, they tell him about a tradition where the rival school's band beats up Arlen's mascot when Arlen is ahead. When Arlen takes the lead in the game, Bobby runs away, disgracing the whole school. He enlists Dale's help in trying to regain his reputation by kidnapping the mascot of another school.moreless
Cotton can't support his wife and baby on his pension, so he moves from Houston to the Arlen VFW. Hank gets him a job at a local restaurant, but the manager won't let Cotton have a day off to march in the Veterans' Day parade. Peggy tries to create an eye-catching float for the parade.moreless
Peggy gets her big break when she is assigned to teach geometry at the high school. But she gets in trouble with everyone when she flunks Arlen High's star football player, David Kalaiki-Alii, the Flyin' Hawaiian, and he gets kicked off the team.
When John Redcorn comes to Bobby and Joseph's class and tells them about the way his people were treated by the white man, Joseph doesn't care, but Bobby is so horrified that he decides to boycott Thanksgiving. John Redcorn starts to think that it is time Dale and Joseph know that he is Joseph's real father. Luanne tells Peggy that everyone hates her annual Boggle tournament, so Peggy invents a new game, "Spin the Choice."moreless
With Bobby's 13th birthday approaching, Joseph comes back from summer vacation having grown six inches. Bobby is upset that everyone still treats him like a little kid, and Joseph is being driven crazy by the onset of puberty. Hank builds coffins for himself and Peggy.
Bobby gets a job as Buck Strickland's caddy. He and Buck hit it off, and Bobby starts imitating Buck and defying his father. Things come to a head when Buck takes Bobby to Hot Springs, Arkansas on a gambling jaunt, and Hank goes after them. Peggy and Minh get into a heated competition over who can donate the most blood.moreless
Appalled that Luanne is unprepared to vote, Hank takes the family to the local fair where she can meet the political candidates. Hank is further appalled to find that Luanne has decided to vote Communist because the candidate is handsome. Bobby saves the life of a drowning pig at the fair and is invited to meet Texas Governor (and presidential candidate) George W. Bush. Hank, staunchly pro-Bush, takes Luanne to the rally where she falls for Bush. Unfortunately, Bush's wet, limp, awful handshake leaves Hank shocked and disappointed. Peggy creates her own polling station in the garage.moreless